Our inner child influences our behavior and our perception, so it is an advantage if we deal with it and get along with it. The psychologist Nicole LePera distinguishes seven archetypes with regard to the inner child – which of them do you recognize in you?
How we behave as adults is largely shaped by the roles we played as children. Were we the big sister who always had to take care of the little ones? Or the baby that always looked up to the older ones and wanted to emulate them? Did we go to a school where there was a lot of competition and pressure to perform? Or one in which the focus was on personality development? Most of the time we are not even aware of how much the patterns and beliefs we adopted as children influence and guide our lives. And how important it is to recognize, understand and, if necessary, dissolve these patterns and beliefs if they harm us and are a hindrance. Because only by making peace with our inner child can we freely and ourselves determine who we want to be.
The psychologist Nicole LePera provides in her book How to do the work proposes seven different archetypes of the inner child, which according to her are particularly widespread and influential. In general, we can carry parts of different archetypes within us, whereby one often stands out as particularly dominant.
Inner child: According to an expert, there are 7 archetypes – which one are you?
The caretaker: The self-sacrificing type
People whose inner child is primarily this archetype care more about those around them than about themselves. They appear overly caring, often put their own needs aside in favor of others, and derive a great deal of self-worth from taking care of themselves others care. As a rule, people of this inner child archetype had to take responsibility for someone close to them or feel responsible very early in their lives. On the other hand, they usually lack the childhood experience of unconditional love from their parents and the certainty that adults are there and have the situation under control.
The overachiever: The ambitious guy
When our inner child largely conforms to this archetype, we always feel that we have to achieve high performance and outperform others in order to be worth something and to earn our place in this world. Not being successful triggers shame in people of this type and they live with a constant inner pressure to perform. Those affected often had a strong focus on performance and success in their childhood, whether in the school environment or in the family.
The underachiever: The underachiever
Just don’t stand out, don’t get in anyone’s way, never stand out or compete with others – these are concerns with which people of the performance-refusing inner child archetype go through life. They avoid any trials and challenges as they are extremely afraid of failure and criticism, leaving many of their potentials unfulfilled. An excessively high focus on achievement during childhood can also be the reason for their imprinting in people of this type.
The rescuer/protector: The rescuer/protective type
People with an inner child of this archetype are always trying to help, protect, and save others—and believe they can. This belief gives them a sense of power and control, which is a big part of their self-worth. Without meaning it badly, people of the saving type accuse their fellow human beings of not being able to cope on their own and of being dependent. Those affected often overcompensate for early experiences of being at the mercy and helplessness with this imprint of their inner child. Corresponding events can be, for example, mentally unstable parents or a conflict-ridden separation with custody disputes.
The life of the party: The party mouse
People with an inner party mouse child always show their happy, funny, strong side. She can’t seem to hurt or sadden anything, but she always makes others laugh. Affected individuals usually experienced rejection in their childhood when they showed anger, sadness or other uncomfortable emotions, which is why they developed the belief that they would only be loved and accepted if they were happy and spread a good mood.
The yes-person: The guy who says yes
This archetype shows many parallels to the self-sacrificing inner child: Affected people usually found themselves very early in a role in which they had to be there for others and had to put their own well-being aside. Her archetype causes her to drop everything as soon as someone asks her for something. Rather than refuse anything to those around them, they prefer to deny themselves what they need or want. Behind this lies the deep-rooted conviction that this is the way to earn love.
The hero-worshipper: The hero-worshipping type
People with an inner child of this archetype tend to seek out a person they overly admire and glorify, and would do anything to be accepted and valued by. They actually feel unworthy of their hero:in and perceive it as great luck or mercy when he/she gives them time and attention. This archetype can thrive as an inner child when we are not encouraged to be independent during childhood, but are treated with extreme care and pampering.
Recognizing our role and behavioral patterns is the first step to changing them, if we want to. The second step is usually to understand what values and beliefs are behind these patterns and how we came to these values. Especially when they come from our childhood, we will often find in adulthood that they no longer fit us and our lives. This knowledge is usually the prerequisite for change and healing, which, however, can be a very long path that sometimes cannot be mastered alone.
Sources used: heholisticpsychologist.com, wysteriaedwards.com