How we deal with our feelings can vary greatly from person to person. The psychologist Judith Orloff describes four basic emotional types. Which one would you most likely assign yourself to?
Sometimes we may find it a burden, but generally our feelings are of great value. They navigate us through life and make up our personality. They connect us with others and give us meaning and meaning. We may all feel similar emotions within us, but how we deal with them differs from person to person.
Based on her therapeutic work, the psychologist Judith Orloff has observed four basic tendencies in dealing with feelings. Most people showed traits of all tendencies, but many had one of these types more pronounced than the others. With you, too?
Psychologist distinguishes 4 emotional types
1. The intellectual type
The psychologist counts to the intellectual type people who mostly approach situations very analytically, thoughtful, thoughtful, structured, rational and with a cool head. They have a strong need to understand what is happening to or around them, that is, to recognize causes, logical principles, or laws, and they tend to feel uncomfortable when they fail to do so. Those who have a lot of this type in themselves often find it difficult to trust their own feelings and intuition. Likewise, people of this emotional type cannot easily let themselves go and relax.
The psychologist mentions the following typical characteristics for people of this type:
- They believe that thinking always leads to a solution.
- When faced with a problem, immediately analyze it using categories such as pros and cons or cause and effect instead of sensing what you are feeling.
- They prefer to plan instead of making spontaneous decisions.
- They tend to brood.
Those who find themselves in this description could like to pay more attention to their own feelings and feel which impulses or physical sensations they trigger him: him. Emotions are not disruptive factors, they fulfill a function. They belong to us just like our eyes, our hands or our heart. With our conscious thinking we can only grasp a very, very small part of the world, sooner or later we reach our limits or believe a deception. Our feelings can provide further guidance if we address them.
2. The empathic type
People who tend towards the empathic type – Judith Orloff also calls them “emotional sponges” – are sensitive, sensitive, loving and compassionate. They sense when something is in the air and often experience their own emotions and those of other people very intensely.
For people of this emotional type, the psychologist names the following typical characteristics:
- Other people sometimes refer to them as “too emotional” or “oversensitive”.
- When someone close to you is sad or hurt, so are they.
- They are mostly introverted and feel overwhelmed when they are around too much or with too many other people.
- They are sensitive to sensory impressions such as noise or smells.
People who identify with the empathic type usually get it well if they integrate rituals into their everyday life, which they can find calm and collect emotionally. Meditation, walks in a quiet area – moments in which little stimulus and input shower you. It can also be useful for some to write down situations in which they feel overwhelmed (by their emotions and the external circumstances that trigger them) and panic occurs in them, and to look at these situations from a distance. Sometimes this helps to recognize that not all stimuli and all of our emotional impulses are equally important and equally important.
3. The stoic type
The psychologist also describes the stoic type as “rock”. People who tend towards this type are often reliable, good and tolerant listeners: inside, nothing shakes or scares off. They usually find it difficult to express or show their feelings themselves.
The characteristics that Judith Orloff cites for characters of the Stoic type are:
- They find it easier to listen than to communicate.
- You often see yourself in the role of the person others rely on the most.
- They are happy with their relationships – whereas others usually want them to be more devoted.
In order to build deep, mutual and balanced bonds, it is usually helpful or necessary that we share our feelings with other people. This is the only way to create real closeness, mutual understanding and deep trust. Therefore, it is good for people who recognize a high proportion of the stoic type in themselves to practice articulating and living out their emotions. Writing a diary can be a good step in this direction, especially questions such as What am I feeling right now? and How am i doing today are to be answered.
4. The communicative type
The communicative type is in a way the counterpart of the stoic type. The psychologist assigns people to this category who are very open with their feelings and who usually live them out directly and unfiltered. Often they are able to process negative emotions quickly and look ahead. For people around her, however, her communicative nature can sometimes be a bit too much.
According to Judith Orloff, people of this emotional type were characterized by the following characteristics:
- It scares them to keep their feelings to themselves.
- If you have problems, your first impulse is to talk to others.
- You sometimes have difficulty perceiving the (emotional) boundaries of others.
Basically nothing speaks against showing feelings openly and honestly and sharing them with other people. However, it becomes problematic when that is our only strategy to deal with our emotions – because someone is not always available who means well for us and whom we can trust. For this reason, those who identify themselves very strongly with the communicative emotion type can try to take more time to ask their own gut feelings before they seek advice from other people. Or think about your own feelings yourself and understand them before he: she lives them out on the outside. This can promote independence and self-confidence – and, if necessary, also relieve other people.
Sources used: psychologytoday.com, healthyaging.net