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Psychology: Calm people do things differently

Yoga and journaling? nope
6 things relaxed people do really differently

© Olena Yakobchuk / Shutterstock

Why do some people always stay calm? And that as a matter of course? We went in search of the serenity formula far away from yoga and co.

Do you know those people who always seem to be at peace? The baker is sold out, the coffee falls down, the bus is late. And while we’re already simmering inside, they sit relaxed on a bench and wait for the next one. Slightly admiring, you catch yourself squinting at the person – to perhaps catch a sign of stress. Was that an eye roll? Are those worry lines? No, she even laughs! How does she do it?

We experience similar situations at work, but also in private and family life. Some people take life as it comes, drifting and surfing the waves like they’ve never done anything else. While we are already being swept away by the next current before we can even catch our breath.

Relaxed people are often perceived as an exotic, magically attractive animal by those who tend to be more stressed. Serenity can certainly be learned. And no, we’re not talking about another pre-work yoga routine and lunchtime meditation. Mindfulness practices certainly have their merits, and don’t get us wrong—we’re big yoga fans—but we’re searching for the true habits that the laid-back among us take for granted and that we’d like to learn a lesson from. And we think we found a few there. Curtain up …

6 habits of easy-going people

1. They ignore messages.

Our time is increasingly externally controlled, at least since the possession of smartphones. As soon as the mobile phone blinks or rings, our hand almost automatically reaches for it. Icons indicate whether our messages have been read, who is currently online. All of this creates tremendous pressure to be available anytime, anywhere and immediately. But we don’t have to. When we learn not to react immediately to news, we take a tremendous burden off our own shoulders.

2. You set yourself an appointment limit.

Do you know it when you agree to all meetings and suddenly every day of the next week is already booked again? There is a simple exercise: set a limit on appointments per week. Once this has been achieved and someone asks if you have time, the answer is no – because we ourselves need space to recharge our batteries.

3. You practice waiting and breathing.

This is probably one of the most difficult serenity exercises, but it gets us the most: enduring insecurities. A proverb says that if you drive yourself crazy before something, you will experience the stress twice over – on the said date and since it is fixed. It is better to wait and then deal with things when they really happen. Don’t forget to take a deep breath, because we often lose that in everyday life.

4. You know control is a delusion.

How nice would it be to have everything under control? And how incredibly boring! After all, life is not controllable – if we accept that we cannot control everything, we also take on some responsibility. Giving up control can feel pretty good.

5. You keep a to-don’t list.

To-do lists are nice, but the ones we cross out are nicer. Calm people know their limits and know that they can’t and don’t have to do everything – and that doesn’t make them worse. Just don’t do things that aren’t important and learn that it won’t end the world.

6. They like quirks.

Quirks make you adorable. Yes, we’ve heard that a lot, but seriously: If you take a look around and consciously pay attention to supposed flaws in your fellow human beings, you’ll find that we’re all a bit weird in our own way. That’s why we don’t even need to strive for perfection ourselves!

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