All sports, I sleep
Welcome to the January blues!
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Is it January again? That was somehow too fast for our author. Instead of going to the gym, she does an extra lap in bed. Like every year.
My colleague asked me this morning if I would like to take part in Mady’s Yoga Challenge. Um, yeah, maybe, I don’t know, it started already? How now, it’s January 3rd and there are people who really started on January 1st and turned their lives around? Who get up an hour earlier every day to do yoga, jog the block or pedal on cross trainers? All I kick away is my duvet. And very reluctantly.
I’ll be honest: I haven’t really arrived in January yet. Instead, I’m stuck somewhere between the years, in a dull, comfortably warm state of limbo that I’m loving just a little too much. I like the unexcited standstill that, for once, people can agree on quietly, quietly and secretly, between Christmas and the New Year.
The shirt is untied, the belt is buckled more loosely, whether it’s for a cookie plaid or for serenity doesn’t matter. You just let go for a few days. The dress code, the Christmas stress, the roles that you have slipped on between job and visiting family. You are not an employee, not a colleague, not a mother, not a daughter, not a friend, just a human for a moment. In a way, you vegetate to yourself. Splendid.
It’s just that it’s so terribly difficult for me to get out of this raw state every year. Suddenly boots and jeans press, want to be exchanged for slippers and leggings as quickly as possible and the bed calls louder than any after-work activity. I don’t want the gym or a beer after work, I want to go to bed. And while I’m wondering if that’s the terrifying winter blues knocking at my door, I remember that thought sounds familiar. And then we greet each other in a friendly way and I take the heavy cloak of irritation from him, because we remember: We know each other and are quite fond of each other.
What do I long for when I satisfy the longing for doing nothing?
So I not only extend my hand to the January blues, I even embrace it (you’re supposed to do it with everything these days anyway) and ask it to stay a little. He is my legitimation for a month’s retreat a year. It’s gray and wet, there’s no reason to go outside, you’ve really had enough of your social life in December, as well as your culinary cravings. So plenty of time to take care of yourself. Without any distractions. What happens when the hamster wheel stops for a moment? How do I actually want to shape my everyday life if it’s just up to me? What remains? What can go? What do I long for when I satisfy the longing for doing nothing? I don’t know. I’ll find out now though. In bed, because it’s getting dark again and I think I should call it a day.
And to everyone who asks me about my New Year’s resolutions: We can talk about restarting again in February. And then I might even start the yoga challenge. Or go to the gym, which is sure to be pretty empty by then. Or find out that I don’t do any of this because I love doing nothing so much that it becomes my resolution.
A personal request: The January blues should not be confused with a depressive episode. The latter is not a nice break, but a serious illness that requires professional help. Got worries you want to share? The telephone counseling service accepts calls anonymously around the clock, telephone 0800/1110111 or 0800/1110222, www.telefonseelsorge.de. Further information and help on how to deal with it is also available from the Deutsche Depressionshilfe, telephone 0800/3344533 or at www.deutsche-depressionshilfe.de.