Communicate better
5 conversation habits we can learn from socially intelligent people
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Conversations can be boring and exhausting or enriching and pleasant – and to a certain extent we have control over what applies to our conversations. Here you can find out what socially intelligent people do so well in conversations.
Being able to communicate and have conversations is an important prerequisite for being happy and successful in our society. Whether in intimate, private relationships, at work or in everyday encounters, whenever we come into contact with other people, it is an advantage if we can make ourselves understood and understand them.
Average communication skills may generally be sufficient to exist happily and contentedly in our world – but looking at your own habits, strengths and weaknesses and perhaps making adjustments here and there can still be worthwhile. After all, a high level of communication skills can not only open doors in professional contexts, benefit us in other formal occasions and improve our closest relationships. It can also enrich us personally and make the exchange with other people even more pleasant and valuable for us.
5 conversation habits the most socially intelligent people use
1. You listen consciously and carefully.
Socially intelligent people generally try to give their conversation partner their full attention and listen to them carefully. If you notice that your thoughts are drifting or that you haven’t heard something that was said for other reasons, ask questions or tell the other person that you are or were distracted. Socially intelligent people know that apparent listening can not only make a conversation very stressful and unpleasant – for everyone involved, by the way – but can also poison the entire relationship.
2. You get involved with the perspective of your counterpart.
Socially intelligent people strive to truly understand the perspective of the other person in a conversation. You take his situation into account, consider his emotional state and motives and Above all, recognize that his position is as good and valuable as their own. One of the fundamental points that distinguishes socially very intelligent people from many others is: In principle, they do not try to convince the person they are talking to of anything or to explain their own point of viewbut rather engage with the perspective of the other.
3. They share their own experience and assessment (without completely focusing the conversation on themselves!).
Unless specifically asked, socially intelligent people refrain from offering advice, judgment, and opinions on what others tell them about themselves. Instead, they provide helpful feedback and inspiration or express their understanding by sharing something about themselves that might help the other person. Whether it’s an embarrassing story from your own life that makes the person you’re talking to feel better and takes away fears, or an experience that makes it clear that you know and can understand his/her emotions, with your personal input socially Intelligent people provide their counterpart with relief, express trust and appreciation and at the same time offer them an opportunity to change or broaden their perspective.
4. You focus more on agreement than conflict.
Basically, it’s very nice and interesting to talk to people who have different opinions than we do. However, even with different opinions, there are often agreements or common ground. For example, one person may have a preference for historical fiction and another may prefer fantasy – but when the two discuss it, they may find that they both feel like they’re escaping into another world in their respective favorite genres. and that this is an experience they particularly love about reading. Sometimes two people have different approaches but the same goal. Socially intelligent people are more likely to look for similarities and similarities in conversations and build on them than to dwell on differences and conflicts.
5. They are authentic.
Socially intelligent people do not attach great importance to impressing the person they are talking to or appearing particularly eloquent or clever. They get confused, sometimes can’t find the right word, correct themselves afterwards, don’t always have the perfect answer ready straight away or admit that they’re not in the mood or condition to have a particular conversation at the moment. They understand that conversations are not about performing and making a name for themselves, but about exchanging ideas, sharing something with other people and growing together. This, in turn, can be achieved with honesty and authenticity – not with conversation training and filters.
Source used: psychologytoday.com