psychology
How to achieve a healthy love-life balance
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There it is, the balance between love and life. What we can do to not lose sight of them in our relationship.
It’s okay, we understand you: It borders on a miracle that you met this person. this one person in a million, honestly, what’s the chance? And yes, he’s just wonderful, charming, funny, thoughtful… Hours feel like seconds when you’re together.
Congratulations, you are in the “honeymoon phase” in which many people can hardly bear with each other, you feel like you are high (and thanks to the hormones you are in a certain way) and that one special person keeps nabbing you makes sense. And before you know it, you’re doing everything together, whether it’s vacations or cleaning.
Maybe this phase feels exciting to you, maybe you never want it any other way. But it’s like this: Most of the time it will be different again – and maybe it is advisable to take a step back and ask yourself: Is my relationship overshadowing other important aspects of my life? Because yes, there is not only the often mentioned work-life balance – the “love-life balance” is also important for a balanced life. Because love can also burn us out if we offer it our entire being.
We have collected two important things for you to do to keep the balance between love and life.
Let’s not confuse love with dependency
What makes people happy are primarily their social relationships, especially the deep ones – at least that’s the result of one Harvard Happiness Studywhich has accompanied various people over decades. Quite a few get a lot out of their romantic and intimate relationships and of course that is absolutely fine and important. But we all have limitations, and when those limitations dissolve, a mere desire to spend time with the other person can turn into a real need that we suffer when we fail to meet it.
According to study Anxious people, in particular, tend to crave constant affirmation of their love and commitment – their love becoming more of an “attachment” to and dependency from another person. Ultimately, both sides are anything but satisfied with this situation: The anxious person’s happiness suffers from their emotions of insecurity and their partner may also lose interest. Unsurprisingly, according to one study seen as one of the six big warning signs for many people and are a no-go for many in the context of relationships.
But we can avoid this situation if we are aware of our own needs, insecurities and fears and above all share them with our partner. It can also be helpful to pursue your own hobbies away from the relationship and to consciously arrange dates with the relationship person – this can prevent you from simply existing “next to each other”.
Don’t lose yourself in your relationship
According to the result of another study Close relationships have a strong impact on human perception: they can create a perceived merging of one’s ego with that of one’s partner in certain overlapping areas of life. “I” becomes “we”. Something like this can be incredibly empowering and provide security – but it is advisable not to lose yourself in this “we”.
According to one, anyone who meets up with friends regularly and has a solid social network is running study less danger of losing sight of one’s own identity. Friends remind us of who we are, what we are worth and what we stand for, and can help us bring the focus back to the “I”.
Basically, if we communicate our needs and desires – and also give those of our counterpart the necessary space – not only do both get their money’s worth and pave the way for living a fulfilling life as individuals. It also lays the foundation for a stable, healthy, and happy relationship.
Sources used: forbes.com, health.clevelandclinic.org, health.harvard.edu, nature.com, sciencedirect.com, psycnet.apa.org, journals.sagepub.com