Inka Bause reveals
3 top tips against lovesickness – which we will definitely try
Lovesickness. We’ll all have to go through that sooner or later. Inka Bause is also familiar with it. In an interview, she told us what, in her experience, works best against it.
When, unfortunately, the person you’re in love with doesn’t want to know much about you. When you want more with someone, but the other person is all about sex. When there is a crisis in your relationship, you keep your distance, you realize how much you miss your sweetheart, but he gives you no signals that he is the same. Or when it is finally over and you suddenly have to deal with the fact that your life will go on differently than you had imagined and hoped for for years.
Lovesickness can have a wide variety of backgrounds and histories, but whatever triggered it: It hurts tremendously. It is a type of grief, sometimes mixed with frustration, that tarnishes our mood and darkens our world for a while. As a neurological examination showed, lovesickness after a breakup can even measurably impair the functionality of our brain – in a similar way to depression. But it doesn’t always have to come to this, especially when we have a strategy that will help us cope with lovesickness. Only which one could it be? We asked moderator Inka Bause for a personal recommendation.
Inka Bause reveals her top tips against lovesickness
Since 2005, the Leipzig-based host has been moderating the RTL program “Bauer sucht Frau”, and Inka has now also coupled with the dating portal “Zweisam.de”, which especially wants to help people over 50 to find a partner. She also knows a lot about lovesickness from her own experience, she says – even though she has only been really badly hit once so far. “I howled for three days, and then it was good again,” Inka tells us. However, please do not take this as a deadline.
1. Give space to emotions
“Everyone has to take as much time as they need,” said the moderator. For some it is days, for other weeks, for other months. In her experience, however, it is important, especially at the beginning, in the initial state of sadness and shock, to live out the feelings unrestrainedly and to follow your own intuition: If you feel like locking yourself in at home and crying, then lock yourself in and cry when you do if you want to let off steam during sport, then react off during sport, if you want to refurbish your wardrobe, refurbish your wardrobe (if you have enough on the high edge …) We can all take very different measures that make us feel better. Therefore, it only helps to try out and listen to yourself.
2. Understand your own grief
And while we’re at it anyway, according to Inka, it can make sense to question ourselves and find out what exactly makes us so sad. For example: “Was it really love? Or maybe I just cry because I was rejected? Or because my expectations were not met? Or I no longer have my usual life and environment?” Knowing and understanding the background of your own emotions can in some cases make a difference and / or change something.
3. Prevent escalation
Finally, before we even get into a situation in which we feel heartbreak, we could all do something so that our lovesickness might not get so bad: “The more we are at peace with ourselves, the better we get probably also clear with lovesickness, “says Inka. “If I was the emptier vessel in the relationship and have defined myself to a large extent through the partnership, it will certainly be more difficult for me to accept and overcome the separation.” Accordingly, a fundamentally mindful treatment of ourselves and continuous care for our self-esteem is an effective prevention against escalations of lovesickness. And the good thing about it: Even if there is never another relationship drama in our lives, this precautionary measure was by no means in vain.