Everyone exercises, I sleep
“January is my legitimation for a month of retreat a year”
© EGHStock / Adobe Stock
Is it January again already? This somehow happened too quickly for our author. Instead of going to the gym, she does an extra lap in bed. Like every year.
My colleague asked me this morning if I would take part in Mady’s yoga challenge. Um, yeah, maybe, I don’t know, that started already? What now, it’s already January 5th and there are people who really started on the 1st and turned their lives around? Who get up an hour earlier every day to do yoga, jog around the block, or pedal on elliptical machines? All I kick away is my duvet. And very reluctantly.
I’ll be honest: I haven’t really arrived in January yet. Instead, I’m stuck somewhere between the years, in a dull, warm, comforting state of limbo that I like just a little too much. I like the calm standstill that people can, for once, agree on between Christmas and New Year without any fuss, secretly and tacitly.
The shirt is untied, the belt is tightened more loosely, whether out of pity or composure doesn’t matter. You just let go for a few days. The dress code, the Christmas stress, the roles you put on between your job and visiting family. You are not an employee, not a colleague, not a mother, not a daughter, not a friend, just a human being. In a sense, you vegetate. Splendid.
It’s just that every year it’s so terribly difficult for me to get out of this raw state. Suddenly boots and jeans are tight, you want to be exchanged for slippers and leggings as quickly as possible and the bed calls louder than any after-work activity. I don’t want the gym or a beer after work, I want to go to bed. And while I’m wondering if this is the terrifying winter depression that’s knocking, it occurs to me that this thought sounds familiar. And then we greet each other in a friendly manner and I take away the heavy cloak of annoyance from him because we remember: we know each other and really like each other.
What do I long for when I satisfy the longing for doing nothing?
So I don’t just extend a hand to the January blues, I even hug him (that’s what you’re supposed to do with everything these days anyway) and ask him to stay a while. It is my justification for one month of retreat a year. It’s gray and wet, there’s no reason to go outside, your social life has really been satisfied in December, as have your culinary cravings. So there’s plenty of time to take care of yourself. Completely without distraction. What happens if the hamster wheel stops for a moment? How do I actually want to organize my everyday life if it’s up to me? What remains? What is allowed? What do I long for when I satisfy the longing for doing nothing? I don’t know. But I’m finding out now. In bed, because it’s getting dark again and I think I should urgently get off work.
And to everyone who asks me about my New Year’s resolutions: We can talk about restarting again in February. And then I might even start the yoga challenge. Or go to the gym, which will probably be pretty empty by then. Or find out that I do none of these things because I love doing nothing so much that it becomes my resolution.
A personal request: The January blues should not be confused with a depressive episode. The latter is not a nice break, but a serious illness that requires professional help. Do you have concerns you would like to share? The telephone counseling service accepts anonymous calls around the clock, telephone 0800/1110111 or 0800/1110222, www.telefonseelsorge.de. Further information and help on how to deal with it is also available from the German Depression Help, telephone 0800/3344533 or at www.deutsche-depressionshilfe.de.