We all know them, these people who nothing seems to bother them. How do they do that? We have a few ideas.
Not all people can go through life like a Zen Buddhist and deal with everything that comes their way with complete equanimity. After all, we all have different personalities, influences and triggers that we encounter in very different ways. But what do people do differently who stay calm in (almost) every situation? Who don’t let anything stress them out, but rather react calmly, even when things get hairy?
This is different for people who (almost) always remain calm
1. Prioritize self-care
In order to react prudently even in difficult situations, we need a certain degree of resilience. And in order for us to be resilient, we need energy. That’s why it’s important that we take good care of ourselves and our needs. People who manage not to get stressed so quickly know this. They therefore prioritize their self-care and make sure they have enough time for rest and exercise and also eat a balanced diet. And this in turn helps them to have enough energy to deal with problems and stress.
2. Realistic expectations
We are usually stressed, annoyed or angry when something goes differently than we had planned or hoped. So the problem is often not what happened – but that our expectations were not met. It can therefore help to work on these expectations and, at best, lower them. For example, if you find yourself constantly upset when you have to wait a long time to see your doctor, you could try looking at your expectations. Because, despite your experiences to the contrary, you obviously always expect that things will go faster in the waiting room. You’ll probably stress yourself out less in the long term if you plan for a longer wait in advance.
3. Set boundaries
People who are tense and easily upset are often afraid of disappointing other people. They take on too much responsibility and often don’t dare to say no. People who mostly stay relaxed, on the other hand, set clear boundaries – in all situations. Whether at work, with family or with friends: They communicate clearly what their needs are and when something is too much for them. This isn’t easy for all personality types, but in the long run it saves them a lot of energy when they don’t have to constantly do things that drain them of strength and ultimately their resilience.
4. Practice mindfulness
It sounds trite, but mindfulness is an important tool for being internally balanced – and so being able to remain calm even in difficult situations. It can help to meditate regularly and establish a fundamental calm in the mind. And in acute situations that demand a lot from us, it can also be helpful to take a few deep breaths and gain some distance from the situation before we react. That doesn’t mean that there won’t always be things that drive us crazy, but mindfulness can help us avoid jumping to every trigger.
Sources used: yourtango.com, psychologytoday.com