psychology
4 factors responsible for chemistry between couples
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Does the chemistry between people that everyone always talks about really exist? And if so, what factors are needed for it to arise?
When it comes to romantic relationships, we often talk about the chemistry between two people. You’ve probably heard a friend say: “The chemistry between me and my date is just right.” Maybe you’ve even said this sentence yourself. But what exactly is this romantic chemistry?
There is no scientific evidence as to what constitutes chemistry between two people. When couples refer to this, they are usually talking about initial feelings of intense, romantic love. During this exciting phase, regions of the brain’s reward system associated with energy, concentration, motivation and ecstasy are activated. So if you think about the hormones that are released when you fall in love, including the happiness hormone dopamine, then maybe chemistry is actually at play.
Traits responsible for chemistry between people
Relationships between people who have strong romantic chemistry often consist of similar characteristics. This happens all by itself. So we can’t force or fake any of these properties. If it fits, then it fits. And if not, then maybe the person isn’t as perfect for us as our head wants us to believe. The situation here is similar to that in natural science. Whether two chemicals react with each other depends on the quality of the chemicals they contain.
The following four factors can be responsible for the chemistry between people.
1. Empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and share another person’s feelings. Some people are naturally very empathetic and react sensitively to the people in their everyday lives. Other people, however, show less empathy. Both are completely legitimate and part of our character.
In a relationship where there is good romantic chemistry between two people, this empathy is even more profound. When one partner suffers, the other suffers too. If one partner is happy, the other will share the joy with him/her.
2. Mutual fascination
Chemistry is right when two people spontaneously develop a serious and intense romantic interest in each other without being able to do anything about it. They are fascinated by each other – and not just because of their looks. There are no games. No “fidgeting”. No hurting. When there is good romantic chemistry between two people, they have a genuine interest in getting to know the other person in all their facets.
3. Be in harmony with the other person
Knowing what the other person is thinking or communicating through body language are skills that people who have the right chemistry have. Typically, they have spent years cultivating love in their relationship and are completely in tune with each other. But that doesn’t mean there will never be friction or disagreements. Being in harmony means always coming back and looking for love and an honest solution. In every relationship there are ups and downs, but if the chemistry between two people is strong enough, the couple quickly recovers from the lows and grows even closer together afterwards.
4. Physical attraction
Most of us find many people physically attractive, but it doesn’t just have to do with looks. Maybe you’ve dated people who you didn’t find attractive at first glance, but who gradually attracted you physically just because of their personality. Intimate familiarity makes us respond differently to each other’s bodies in a dynamic, adrenaline-fueled way that is very different from the encounters we have with others. However, physical attraction is in no way exclusively about sexual attraction. Rather, it’s about feeling comfortable around others, enjoying hugs, and literally being able to “smell” someone.