psychology
Since I understood one thing, my feelings less often get in my way
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Are you sometimes easily overwhelmed by your feelings? Our author knows the problem – and has finally found a way to deal with it.
Feelings are like a navigation system that guides us through life and points us in the right direction: we avoid what scares us, we change what annoys us, we do it again and again what makes us happy, and so on. At least in theory. In practice, feelings get in the way, send completely incomprehensible messages and are sometimes just exhausting. At least mine.
Whether it’s anger over some silly little thing that spoils my mood and keeps me busy for hours, or irrational fear that keeps me from trying something new and having great experiences, I’ve often cursed my feelings and wished I could somehow hide them to influence and control my favor. Perhaps there was once a good fairy nearby. Because now I think I can. At least a bit.
Emotions are a consequence of our perception
While it is often said that we cannot control our emotions, this is not the whole story from my perspective and experience: Feelings are dependent on our perception and interpretation of reality. We perceive something – e.g. B. still no WhatsApp from the girlfriend. interpret – e.g. B. She doesn’t care that I’m waiting. And feel – e.g. B. Disappointment, sadness, anger… We cannot control what emotion our interpretation of our perception triggers in us. But we can control how we interpret our perception – e.g. B. I can conclude that my girlfriend is busy, which would disappoint me personally far less than her not caring.
Apart from our interpretation, we can also influence What we perceive. For example, if we always deal with things that we cannot change, we feel frustrated. If we constantly think about what we still have to do or achieve, we feel stressed. If, on the other hand, we focus our thinking and our perception on what we can do and only ever concentrate on what is important at the moment, we feel much better. The world is what it is – but how we see it is our choice. And that decides how we feel.
Understanding feelings takes practice
Admittedly, just realizing that my perception and perception of things create my emotions hasn’t changed my life much. But since I understood the principle, I know where to start when my emotional chaos gets the upper hand again. When I’m feeling down or emotionally confused, I look for the trigger in my perception and question whether my perspective is the only correct or necessary one, or whether there is perhaps one that makes me feel better and that allows me to act more freely. Of course, they don’t always exist – but surprisingly often. In addition, sometimes it helps to understand why I feel the way I feel, to deal with it and to derive instructions for action from my emotions.
I doubt that my feelings will ever guide me as clearly as a navigation device or Google Maps. But I don’t even know where I want to go. And if I perceive detours as an enrichment and can be happy about them instead of being annoyed, I ultimately don’t care about the route.