psychology
Ever since I understood one thing, I finally feel strong
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Be strong? It’s not always easy, especially when you’ve had a bad night’s sleep. But our author found a way to get stronger every day, no matter how rested she is.
Honestly? I was never a big fan of being strong! Always keep your head up, persevere, clench your teeth, don’t show yourself naked, don’t let your feelings throw you off course, even make strengths out of your weaknesses – that just sounds super stressful to me. And (at least in my case) crass after pretending and acting. But now I’ve figured out that being strong has to mean something else – and that’s exactly what it said isn’t.
What does strong mean?
Strong coffee is extra wake-up, a strong caipi should ideally have someone watching me, and a heavy accent is extra sexy (or super cute if it’s Dutch!). In all of these things, the word “strong” means something like intensively, based on the quality that characterizes the respective thing the most (with coffee the caffeine, with caipi the cachaça, with the accent the deviation from the way a native speaker speaks).
Why should “strong” suddenly mean something completely different in relation to humans? Because: If, for example, I don’t let my feelings throw me off course or if I clench my teeth, I’m doing exactly the opposite of what would be “live intensively” for me. After all, when I ignore my emotions, I’m eradicating an important part of who I am.
Strength must not destroy people
Also: I like strong coffee, strength is something positive for me! On the other hand, I don’t like people at all who, for example, don’t show any weaknesses or who never fail. I find them strunz unsympathetic! And they are usually not happy or successful either.
For example, I once worked in a job and team in which the supervisor never made any mistakes – it was always the others! And that despite the fact that he was a control freak and had an eye on absolutely everything. Totally crazy! Since his divorce, he bullied the team and me whenever he could. Sometimes you could smell his alcohol flag, you could always see his conspicuously red speckled face.
Today I think he wanted to be strong but had a completely wrong idea of what that is (much like I used to do!). Yet in doing so, he not only destroyed his own life, but others as well In any case, for me it was the worst two years of my career so far.
A strong person is…
But how, if not flawless and invulnerable, must a person be so that one can call him strong and admire him with a clear conscience? It’s now very clear to me: He has to especially human be!
Humanity is to humans what caffeine is to coffee. Humanity distinguishes us as humans and distinguishes us from jellyfish, caipis and stars. and I think humanity is great! Finally, it includes such great and lovable things as charity, imperfection, flaws, team spirit, longing, need, conscious enjoyment, fallibility, sensitivity, the pursuit of happiness, and creativity. My biggest role models and inspirations (my parents, my big sister, a few bloggers) are all totally human too.
Also: Three of the most typical human characteristics are probably…
- our social sense: Our whole society and reality only works if we work together. Without the others, each and every one of us would be screwed.
- our individuality: We are all insanely different and unique!
- and our ability to learn: We learn and develop throughout our lives based on our experiences (and the mistakes we make!).
This explains everything I need to know about being strong:
- Together we are always strongest!
- Being strong has almost 7.7 billion faces!
- I’m getting a little stronger every day (because I’m open to growing from my experiences and mistakes)!
So for me it fits. And being strong no longer sounds like stress and pretending, but like something beautiful and worth striving for. After all, I don’t have to do anything more than – with all my heart – to be me!