Happiness depends on many factors and some are in our own hands. But whether we go through life happy or frustrated is also in our nature – and it depends on which lucky type we are.
When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, the spirits are divided into these four categories:
- Make resolutions and keep them
- Make resolutions and only keep them if they are also relevant for others
- Make resolutions and keep them – but not necessarily at New Year’s, but whenever it makes sense
- Whistle on resolutions
Gretchen Rubin, happiness researcher and author of “The 4 Happiness Types. How expectations shape our ability to be happy” came across this division.Kailash). Using online surveys, the American investigated how people deal with expectations and demands and consequently overcome challenges.
What are the four happiness tendencies?
Ruby is different two types of expectations:
- Outer ones, i.e. those that others (parents, friends, siblings, boss, society) put in front of us
- and internal, that which we ourselves expect of ourselves.
On this basis, she evaluated her survey results and identified four tendencies:
- Duty Fulfillers: Meets external expectations and fulfills internal expectations
- Team player: Meets external expectations, but refuses internal expectations
- Questioner: Refuses external expectations, but fulfills internal expectations
- Rebel: Refuses external and internal expectations
Happiness researcher and author Gretchen Rubin. The trained lawyer describes herself as a person who fulfills her duties. She lives happily ever after with her questioning husband, Jamie, in New York.
© David Cross / PR
According to Rubin, which type we belong to is in our nature. So we can’t change anything about it, but “only” deal with it as well and constructively as possible. However, depending on the trend, this demands different amounts of us. Because even if Rubin emphasizes that all four types can live happily: one of them is obviously the easiest …
(Here you can do it yourself in English test what lucky type you are)
Duty Fellow
You can tell that you have done your duty by the fact that they love to-do lists and see rules as something that makes their lives easier. A red light? Top! It is there to prevent me from being run over, so of course I like to stop.
Most of the time, those who do their duties are pragmatic and find it easy to work things off and follow instructions and traditions. Ideally, when external and internal expectations conflict, they give preference to internal expectations.
Sometimes, however, representatives of this character type are so eager to meet requirements that they see some where there are none. You tend to put yourself under unnecessary pressure. In addition, they sometimes seem a bit stiff and inflexible to others.
Team player
Team players are reliable, loyal, disciplined, hardworking – when it comes to sticking to rules, appointments or duties. Phew, don’t feel like jogging! But I’ve made an appointment with my girlfriend, so I’m gritting my teeth now.
Team players are typically helpful and reliable, but as soon as they should do something just for themselves, they reach their limits. Set your own goals and make your dreams come true? A difficult task for team players.
Tip for all team players: If you have internal expectations, it is best to create structures that add external incentives. I finally want to eat healthier – so I start a nutrition diary on Instagram. I want to work faster – the best thing to do is to talk to my boss about reasonable deadlines.
Questioner
Questioners analyze their situation, think about what to do and act accordingly. They only adhere to rules and conventions if there is a convincing reason from their point of view. Why should I wait until the New Year with my resolutions? Every new day is a chance to change my life.
With rules that make no sense (for example, fixed working hours, if flexitime would also be possible), questioners quarrel and they are most likely to stick to appointments if there are good reasons why they were planned the way they were planned.
You can recognize people with this tendency by the fact that they often ask questions – but paradoxically get angry when you question them. Since they usually think through their decisions well, they feel attacked and annoyed.
Rebels
Rebels take their personal freedom and free will above all else! As soon as something smells like a rule or plan, they refrain from it. It even goes so far that they leave things they actually want to do if others ask them to. I would like to see if I can manage with less sugar. But this anti-sugar campaign right now is so pissing me off! I don’t have to take part too!
You can already guess: Rebels often offend! No wonder: In a society with so many fixed rules and structures, in which we are given almost everything from the numerus clausus to the dream figure to seasonal must-haves, people who only want to follow their own will find it incredibly difficult.
In order to perhaps set a goal and achieve it, rebels only have one chance: They have to convince themselves of this by reconciling it with their self-image (for example: I want to be a person that others relate to leave, so I stick to appointments).
Which tendency is the most balanced?
According to Rubin’s surveys, most people are team players (41 percent) or questioners (24 percent), followed by duty-takers (19 percent) and rebels (17 percent).
According to Rubin’s study, those who perform their duties are evidently particularly balanced and satisfied. Few of those who do their duty suffer from burnout and most feel able to fulfill their wishes and achieve goals. Probably the tendency to fulfill one’s duty is simply the most compatible with our social structures …
However, according to the happiness researcher, it is the main thing to know your own tendency. Because then we can adjust to it – and have a good chance of a happy life.
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