Psychology: These 2 questions are used by others to judge your character (and you theirs)

psychologist reveals
These 2 questions are used by others to judge your character (and you theirs)

Shake hands, look carefully in the eyes, take a quick look at shoes, hairstyle and outfit and, hey presto, a complete first impression is made – of a person we have only known for a few seconds. It is well known that when we meet for the first time, it is the most banal little things that decide how we feel about a person and into which drawer in our head we temporarily sort them. However, according to Harvard professor Amy Cuddy, all these little things are collected and used to answer two crucial questions:

Trust beats respect

For around 15 years, the psychologist has been dealing with how this mysterious first impression is created, which manifests itself in our brain within seconds and, if necessary, the foundation of our relationships can lay. In her book “Your body speaks for you: work from within, convince, radiate” she presents her most important findings and reveals, among other things, how we leave a positive first impression on our counterpart.

Like most psychologists, Cuddy is certain that the way we make initial judgments about a person deeply rooted in us is and at least a little way with the evolution “From an evolutionary point of view, knowing whether a person is worthy of your trust is essential for survival,” says the psychologist. Very, very early on, when people were not yet organized in large societies based on the division of labor and there was competition for mere survival, it was of the greatest advantage if you could see directly whether a person was up to something evil (e.g. plunder the supplies) or whether you can ally with her (e.g. fighting the saber-toothed tiger, hunting or starting a family…).

So the question is “can I trust this person?” still the more important and fundamental one, according to Cuddy: “If you try to influence someone who doesn’t trust you, you won’t get very far. You’ll probably even arouse their suspicion and be labeled as manipulative.” It is true that it is important and indispensable, especially in a professional context, to appear competent and respectable to others – but without a basis of trust it is not necessarily an advantage! In case of doubt, someone who seems to inspire respect at first glance but is not trustworthy is unconsciously perceived as a threat instead of being admired.

In this respect, the most important rule for a good first impression is one that usually has a positive effect on the ongoing relationship: Be authentic! People can sense when you are disguising yourself. And nobody can keep up with fooling others in the long run anyway…

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