psychology
These 3 communication mistakes are poisoning your relationships
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Anyone who can communicate empathetically and confidently has a good chance of having healthy relationships. We should avoid these mistakes in human interaction.
Appreciative and open communication is essential for good relationships at eye level – both for partnerships and for relationships with friends, colleagues or within the family. If we succeed in this, the chances of peaceful and loving coexistence are good. However, we are all just human beings who sometimes make mistakes – even when in contact with others. There are some typical faux pas among communication styles that have a particularly negative impact on relationships. These three can cause a lot of damage.
3 communication styles to avoid in your relationships
1. Passive
Some people internalized in childhood that life is easier for them if they stay in the background and attract as little attention as possible. This can lead to them continuing this pattern as adults. They may find it difficult to communicate their wants and needs within their relationship. They prefer to keep supposedly unpleasant things to themselves rather than one another risking conflict.
The problem is that the person you’re talking to will never know what’s really going on inside them and what they want. Because people can’t read minds, and needs or boundaries that we don’t express cannot be met or maintained. The passive communication style can also lead such people to unconsciously build up anger towards their partner. So at some point they might break their collar over something trivial and an argument arises that could have been prevented if they had communicated their wishes.
2. Aggressive
Other people, on the other hand, exhibit exactly the opposite behavior: their communication style is aggressive, they quickly become loud and personal when dealing with others. Such people often learned in their childhood that they will only be heard and seen if they use steamroller tactics to stand up for themselves. The fact that they hurt others is secondary. They often use their anger and anger to distract from their insecurities. The main thing is to be strong or appear strong, is their motto.
It’s hardly surprising that this communication style can also lead to problems in relationships. Who would like to be hit by someone?
3. Passive-aggressive
The third problematic communication style is passive-aggressive. In essence, it can be similar to the passive style: people who communicate this way often have difficulty expressing clearly what they want or when something bothers them. But instead of bottling it all up, they choose a different path: They often express their displeasure in sarcastic comments and with small barbs at the other person. So they indirectly express that they are angry or hurt – but fail to clearly communicate what the real problem is.
Another form of passive-aggressive communication is silence. Instead of honestly saying what’s going on inside them, such people prefer to remain silent. In this way they “punish” their counterpart and avoid direct conflict. In the long term, such behavior usually leads to frustration on both sides.
Do you recognize yourself in any of these communication styles? This knowledge alone can help you, because it requires a certain amount of reflection. Maybe you can try to pause the next time you catch yourself engaging in passive, aggressive, or passive-aggressive behavior. Often even this brief moment of mindfulness can help break the pattern. But of course it is often the best option to seek therapeutic help in order to uncover and work through the causes of such behavior patterns.
Sources used: yourtango.com, psychologytoday.com