Our inner critic can get pretty loud. These seven signs mean that you should tone down yours a bit.
Being able to reflect on yourself is an important skill. We all make mistakes, and if we know how to recognize them, we can learn and grow from them. However, many of us have internalized this attitude a little too much. Because we often judge ourselves too harshly. We internally belittle ourselves for not being perfect.
But what level of self-criticism is appropriate and when are we being too hard on ourselves? There are some signs that your inner critic is working overtime again.
These 7 signs mean you’re being too hard on yourself
1. You don’t take any risks
Nothing ventured nothing gained. You can’t do anything with this phrase. Because you always see your own mistakes through a magnifying glass, the risk of making them is always too great for you. Are you applying for a big new project at work that could really help you move forward? Better not, you could fail. Go on the trip alone that you’ve been wanting to do for a long time? Better not, something could go wrong.
Of course, it is good and important to weigh risks sensibly. But if the fear of failure keeps us from achieving our dreams, then we are clearly being too hard on ourselves.
2. You are very reserved with your opinions
Just don’t say anything wrong! For fear of saying something stupid or boring, you prefer to hold back completely. And this also applies to topics that you actually know well. Another unmistakable sign that you are too self-critical. Because others usually never judge us as harshly as we do ourselves. Firstly, because they are usually just as busy with themselves as we are and then because they simply don’t think it’s as bad as we think. when others make a mistake.
3. You blame yourself for everything
No matter what happens, do you always look for the fault in yourself first? As already said: Being able to reflect on yourself and your mistakes is healthy and important. But most likely it won’t always be your fault. Whether it’s a fight with your girlfriend or a failed group project at work: you probably contributed to the problem – just like the other people. But if you always immediately assume that everything bad is because of you, then you should question it more closely.
4. You take everything very personally
Your girlfriend cancels a meeting or doesn’t reply to your message? You immediately feel attacked and assume she is angry with you. You wonder what you did wrong again. Quick reality check: In most cases, neither the cancellation of your meeting nor the lack of response have anything to do with you. Something probably just came up and/or she’s having a stressful day. But the fact that you take these things so personally shows how insecure and self-critical you are.
5. You can’t be happy about success
No matter how well things are going for you, you find it difficult to be really happy about it. The fear that you will make a mistake or that someone will criticize your success is too great. And what’s more, when you feel even the slightest joy about something you’ve achieved, you immediately start thinking about things that didn’t go well. If you only see your mistakes and can’t celebrate your successes, you should take a closer look at your inner critic.
6. You don’t like to ask for help
You clearly see asking someone for help as a sign of weakness. After all, you would have to do it yourself! If you’re afraid to admit that you can’t do something or at least need support, it’s probably because you’re being very hard on yourself. There’s nothing wrong with needing help. After all, no one can do everything. But that has nothing to do with your value as a person.
7. You don’t handle criticism well
Criticism is part of life. In relationships, at work or in completely different situations – when we do something wrong, we have to be able to accept it. People whose inner critic is very active often do not accept negative feedback well. At first glance it may seem that they are overly confident and confident in themselves. But in reality, a lack of critical ability is often a sign that we are very hard on ourselves.
Source used: psychologytoday.com