According to a study
This factor determines how well a relationship gets through crises
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According to a study, a certain factor determines how well our partnership gets through difficult times. And it’s easy to influence.
Every relationship goes through bad times – be it from stress and pressure from the outside or conflicts from within. This is quite natural and not per se a cause for concern. It can only become difficult when one or even both sides no longer believe in the relationship or are no longer willing to do anything for it. It is all the more important to take countermeasures in good time. One current study shows which surprising factor is particularly important to strengthen a partnership – so that it can also survive difficult phases.
Like a bulletproof vest: appreciation in the partnership
In order to maintain the feeling of connection in the relationship, it is important that both partners feel valued. Therefore, we should regularly express our gratitude for the things our sweetheart does for us. Be it that he brings us the first coffee in bed in the morning or that she always asks us how our day was first thing in the evening. That we are grateful for such small gestures and – very important! – Expressing this gratitude in a way that really matters works like glue for our relationship. Our partner feels seen and valued by us.
According to the study, led by Allen W. Barton and August Ida Christine Jenkins, and published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, when both sides share in a relationship, it increases a relationship’s resilience to both internal and external stressors feel valued.
US study of gratitude in relationships
The study looked at 316 couples, focusing on how expressed and perceived gratitude differed. “We wanted to understand what makes couples resilient,” explains University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign professor of human development and family studies, Allen W. Barton. “All couples face challenges, but some relationships remain strong even in the face of great adversity.”
The researchers wanted to understand how feelings of gratitude for one’s partner differ from feelings of being truly recognized by one’s counterpart. Say: What does it do to say thank you in a relationship, and what if we ourselves have the feeling that someone is grateful for us?
The result: Both are important for a partnership and strengthen the connection. But the feeling of being recognized and valued by our partner is even more important to make the relationship resilient, for example against financial conflicts. The participants in the study, who noticeably felt their partners’ gratitude, ultimately had stronger relationships that withstood stressful situations.
Already said thank you today?
So we learn from this: It is important to regularly thank your sweetheart for the things he:she does for us. But it is even more important that our counterpart really feels recognized and valued by us. Ask your partner tonight if he:she actually knows how much you appreciate him:her – and what you could do to make him:her feel valued. This is how your relationship weathers even the strongest storms.
Sources used: healthline.com, Journal of Social and Personal Relationships