Social intelligence
Typical characteristics of people with poor social skills
© Oleg / Adobe Stock
Most people are able to successfully interact and adapt to those around them. However, not everyone succeeds equally well. You can read here how you can recognize people with comparatively low social intelligence.
As social beings, people are highly dependent on communicating, understanding and getting along with other people. In this respect, most individuals have the ability to achieve these things – although not all people have the same ability.
The American psychologist Edward Lee Thorndike was one of the first to use the term social in the 1920s Intelligence used to describe how successful, accomplished and wise an individual interacts with those around him. In the 2000s, Daniel Goleman, also a psychologist and science journalist, wrote a book called “Social Intelligence,” which continues to shape our understanding of the term today.
While socially intelligent people usually don’t stand out much when interacting with others or we find them to be pleasant and likeable, people with slightly developed social skills can stand out here and there – for example through the following characteristics.
Characteristics of people with low social intelligence
1. You’re not listening properly.
For many people with comparatively low social intelligence, this is associated with a low interest in their fellow human beings – and the associated inability to listen attentively. Those affected are usually above average self-centered, their thoughts and feelings mainly revolve around themselves. People with low social skills often lack interest as well as the necessary mental capacity and patience to absorb how others are doing and what they have to say .
Anyone who keeps looking at their cell phone or pointing at the table next to them or other signs of being distracted during a conversation, who frequently interrupts to talk about themselves, or who does not answer any questions or reactions to what has been said, fulfills the clear criteria of a person who is a poor listener – and has a typical characteristic of low social intelligence.
2. They don’t notice or feel ashamed when they behave inappropriately.
Social intelligence enables us, among other things, to perceive non-verbal signals and to sense the mood and feelings of those around us. Those who have poor social skills usually find it difficult to do so. Those affected often don’t notice when they talk too much or behave inappropriately in other ways. They joke at the wrong times and then get annoyed at others and their lack of sense of humor when no one is laughing – instead of being ashamed and questioning themselves.
3. You are easily offended.
People with low social intelligence often have only a weak awareness of the fact that different people have different interests and perspectives and that, among other things, for this reason everything does not always go according to their expectations. If they can’t get their way, they feel disadvantaged. If someone doesn’t agree with them, they see it as a personal attack.
Most socially marginally intelligent people live with the basic feeling that other people wish them harm and are more likely to treat them with hostility and competition rather than with solidarity and humanity. For this reason, they tend to be suspicious and quickly react very emotionally.
4. For them there is only black and white.
Although as humans we must draw boundaries and use categories to organize our thinking and imagination, as a species we are a good example of one of life’s winning principles: diversity. As individuals, we differ not only in our hair color, size and smell, but also in what we like, what word we choose for a wire-haired dachshund, why we cry or laugh and who we love – and tomorrow we can do all of these things suddenly tick differently than the day before yesterday. We are diverse and changeable in so many ways that we constantly remind ourselves that our categories can only be dynamic entities without sharp boundaries that we are always willing to expand.
People with low social intelligence generally do not see this diversity and changeability. They are usually very radical in their judgments and vehemently stick to their categories. This is also a reason why they have problems making compromises and being genuinely interested in those around them.
Sources used: spektrum.de, soft-skills.com, blog-neuronation.com, hackspirit.com