Psychology: This is the most important question for your life satisfaction

psychology
These are the 2 most important words for your mental health

“And then?” According to psychiatrist and brain researcher Dr. Daniel Amen, these are the two most important words when it comes to going through life happily and contentedly. Like him in one Video on his Instagram channel reveals that we should ask ourselves this short question much more often. For two reasons.

Think carefully about the consequences of our actions

Firstly, according to the mental health expert, this can help us to better deal with the consequences of our actions in advance. “It’s about always thinking ahead and thinking through the consequences of our actions before we do something,” says Dr. Amen. The more carefully we think about what the consequences could be if we make this or that decision, the better prepared we are and the higher the chance that we will ultimately be satisfied with the life we ​​create for ourselves.

The second, perhaps even more important, point why the two words can be so helpful is different. Because what often prevents us from being relaxed and happy is our tendency to ruminate. Many of us keep getting lost in negative spirals and invest hours imagining worst-case scenarios that will probably never happen.

“And then?”: How bad is it really?

Here too, the question “And then?” help. Because for most problems there is a solution, often a very simple one – even if it doesn’t correspond to our desired scenario. For example, if we are afraid of losing our job, it certainly puts us under stress and creates worries about our future. But if we now calmly and calmly ask ourselves “And then?”, we often quickly realize that there are solutions here too. Then we find a new job, then we may have to live on our savings for a while and/or get by on unemployment benefits. Everything isn’t ideal, but it’s not the end of the world either.

Or when we ponder whether our friend is angry with us because she hasn’t replied to our message for a few hours. The likely answer is no, she just has a lot to do. But even if there is a conflict: And then? Then we clarify the problem, talk to our friend about it and get it out of the way. And if, in the worst case scenario, she doesn’t want to be our friend anymore, that hurts – but then we can’t change it anyway, we can just learn to deal with the loss.

Allow feelings – but don’t lose yourself in them

This is not about downplaying problems and invalidating feelings. Of course, there are things that rightly scare, stress or hurt us – and we can and should feel these emotions. But we often tend to get lost in these spirals of thought. The “And then?” can be a good way to stop this automatic rumination.

Because often what stresses us and makes us anxious and ultimately makes us dissatisfied is not necessarily the fault of the external circumstances, but also and above all how we deal with them. What our brain makes of it is often much worse than what happens in reality. Taking some time and consciously thinking through what could really happen in the worst case scenario – “And then?” – can help us not to get lost in fearful scenarios.

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Bridget