psychology
Why you seem “boring” to others – and what consequences that has
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Stereotypes about “bores” affect whether we are liked or avoided. The most important findings of a scientific study from England.
Do you like lying on the sofa with a series, often don’t have a clear opinion and your job doesn’t take you to the red carpet every day? Then you’re like many of us, and maybe that’s why you sometimes worry about whether others find you boring.
Apparently boring people are unpopular
The concern is not entirely unfounded, as researchers at the University of Essex have discovered. Because the judgment of being boring can have unpleasant social consequences: In addition to loneliness, boredom is a stigma in our experiential society that is tantamount to a kind of mortal sin. Those who are considered boring are more likely to be avoided and excluded than others – many people avoid “boring people”.
The scientists quote the British photographer and set designer Cecil Beaton as saying: “Perhaps the second worst crime in the world is boredom. The worst is being a bore.”
But why are some people actually perceived as boring? And is that even remotely justified? The Researchers used 500 participants to identify the most common stereotypical characteristics of boredom:
- Characteristics: lack of one’s own opinion, lack of humor, frequent complaining, silence, lack of imagination
- Interests and hobbies: religion, television, animal watching, mathematics, sleeping
- jobs: data analysis, accounting, tax/insurance, cleaning, banking
Surprising: The study also showed that people who are considered boring are also attributed with a lack of interpersonal warmth and skills – two further reasons why they are more likely to be avoided in social contexts.
Question stereotypes in your own life
Being labeled as a bore can have negative consequences for each individual. It is therefore important to question these stereotypes and also to approach people who do not spray stardust and lead seemingly unexciting lives. Because similar to the stereotypes that underlie racism or sexism, stereotypes about boringness can lead to prejudice, aversion and social exclusion.
“The very fact that people choose to avoid them can lead to social exclusion and increase loneliness, which has a negative impact on their lives,” said study leader Dr Wijnand Van Tilburg.
We often label people as boring because of their nature or profession without knowing them better. So people who have been previously judged as “boring” have no chance to “prove the opposite and break through the negative stereotypes.” Van Tilburg therefore says very clearly: labeling people as boring is boring.