Psychology: Why do we fear changes so much?

interview

Happy, holy, confident
Laura Seiler, why do we feel so afraid of changes?

You have made a plan, noted the route, set the navigation system. In front of you you only see the sea and a horizon of possibilities that you can control. You are ready. Then suddenly there is this light breeze that turns into wind and blows your hair in your face. The water reacts immediately, it is as if they were communicating with each other, the water and the wind, entering into a secret alliance.

You now feel not only the power of the air on your skin, but also the wilderness of the water, which brings movement into you and your boat. The goal on the horizon has now tilted and the more you try to paddle against the waves, the more you get into a lean. The storm has arrived inside you.

Our brain hates change

Changes feel like this or similar to many people. They come and go like waves on the sea. But they mess up our plans, leave us agitated and seasick. There is actually an enormous amount of energy in them, like in water and wind, only that for us it is often enormous.

That is actually quite logical, as Laura Seiler, author and host of the podcast “happy, holy & confident” tells me in our interview: “Our brain hates change”, she explains to me for a reason that is familiar to many should. According to Laura, it is lazy: “It wants to save energy, which means that everything should stay as it is. So you are already so biologically networked that you should avoid changes, because they always mean danger.”

Aha. So it is a kind of protective instinct that sends us a portion of fear as a precaution. That sounds quite healthy, doesn’t it Laura? “The question that everyone has to ask is: Do I want to spend my life always avoiding danger? Or do I want to live in trust and abundance and ease?”, She replies, making a point. Because this fear is not really pleasant. But it cannot necessarily be circumvented if you want to move forward. So we have to make friends with her somehow.

There is nothing as constant as change

“The thing is: Everything changes all the time. You can’t not change. You can’t. In the time we were talking, everything around us has changed. There is nothing that is so constant, like the change, “says Laura, actually making me think. The course of the conversation now smells strongly of a word that mankind also finds difficult: acceptance.

First of all, however, it would help against the fear of change not to fight it anymore. We already notice this on our boat in the sea – the more we stubbornly work against the waves, the more water splashes towards us. We get slower, tired and frustrated. The eternal struggle is exhausting.

Our greatest qualities are born the moment we don’t know what to do next.

This is where Laura hooks up again. Because it has a better place to use the energy: “The much more powerful thing would be to actively create the change. To think to yourself: Well, if everything changes all the time anyway, then I’ll jump in and proactively change with me. How do I want it then? “

Jump in, that sounds tempting, but also exhausting. What if we can’t swim Or not feel so strong at all? “Look where you are today. There were all a lot of changes. You made it. You’re full of resources,” Laura knows how to take away my fear one more time. “I always say: Our greatest qualities are in Born the moment we don’t know what to do next. Then we develop abilities that we didn’t even know existed in us. “

The next time we fight against wind and waves with our paddle, we’ll just change our perspective. And maybe we will find a mast and a sail above us, with which we can simply take care of the weather.

Guido