If you’re cool, strong, and love yourself, you’ll do your thing – no matter what other people think. At least that’s a widely held view. However, our author is not cool then. She cares what other people think of her.
Do your thing no matter what others say!
Admittedly, this “No-F***s-Given” attitude sounds really great. Always do what I want. What I alone think is right. And don’t worry about what others think of it. Really great. Especially since there is often applause for it – for example on Instagram and YouTube (although of course that doesn’t interest the celebrated …).
But that’s just not for me. Sorry!
It’s possible that I just don’t understand the whole thing. For example, I always wonder why people make theirs Propagate a no-f***s-given attitude on Instagram and Co, if you don’t care about other people’s opinions. And why they sometimes retouch photos, bend their backs so that their butt looks particularly great, or delete critical comments.
Also: To what extent should it be a sign of self-love to give a damn about feedback from others? That’s often said, but I don’t think it’s true. I even consider myself alive evidence to the contrary: I love myself, but I’m still interested in what other people think of me. And I have my reasons for that.
That’s why I don’t care what other people think of me
1. Others see what I don’t see
For as long as I can remember, I’ve seen myself from the same perspective every single day. Of course, depending on my mood, I find myself sometimes really great and sometimes completely wrong. But basically I’m so used to myself that I just wear everything to myself natural and normal find. To be honest, I wouldn’t even know that without the feedback from others some of my characteristics strengths are that some people even appreciate about me. And I wouldn’t notice it if I changed negatively (e.g. become more irritable, lose a lot of weight or something) because I wouldn’t notice it in my daily life with myself. So: The perspective of others enriches me and my view of myself. Through other people I learn things about myself that I would never realize on my own.
2. I am dependent on others
someone please tell me which employer would like to employ me if I do not react to criticism and I’d rather come after I’ve had a good night’s sleep than at nine sharp.
My most important lesson from school is: Always participate and do what others want me to do, and I have peace and quiet. First of all, I would have been an outsider in my destiny class community if I had given a shit on the others. That in combination with puberty would have ruined me – because as a teenager I didn’t love myself the way I do today.
Second, I probably wouldn’t have a degree. Because apart from ecology and Latin, I found everything strunz-boring. So what have I done? Smile nicely, keep calm and wrote down the answers that the teachers wanted to read (I had a knack for that). Zack, high school.
Luckily I can now as adults choose my social and professional environment myself so I don’t have to adjust as much to meet other people’s expectations. But I was brought up, for example, through my school days, to align myself at least a little bit with what others think of me. Why should I train myself to get cramps now, when it works well in practice? For a life of peace and tranquillity, I like to listen to what other people think of me.
3. I can see my own beliefs better through others
Recently I wanted to buy a bag and couldn’t decide between two. So I asked my girlfriend which one to take. Funny thing: when she said the blue and red one, I suddenly knew it had to be the orange one. Suddenly, my feelings kicked in and I was able to make a decision.
It’s the same when other people tell me what they think of me or my point of view. Negative criticism in particular often makes it clear to me how convinced I really am of my own attitude. Knowing what others think of me helps me feel more confident about myself.
4. My life is more beautiful when others like me
I like to be smiled at and treated kindly. I’m simply knitted, that puts me in a good mood. So I’m kind to others so they think of me”But she is nice” and wish me a nice day when I pay for my chocolate croissant.
Besides, I just need reference persons in my life. Friends and family who are there for me and with whom I can spend time and do something. Who would please agree to that if she thinks about me “Whoa, that woman is so corrosive, the stupid cow!”?
5. I gain more from other people’s opinions than I lose
It’s like this: If I’m not wearing my pink rabbit costume, out of 100 people who see me a day, 97 don’t think anything about me at all. After all, I’m not a running Instagram post with a comment field that everyone thinks they have to smear their two cents into. Fortunately!
At least being open to what the other three people think about me is then practically no burden for me. And if I know I can still decide what to do with it after all. Besides, not every opinion has the same weight for me. The closer a person is to me, the more important it is to me what they think of me.
What my reasons reveal about me
It’s probably different for people who are famous or who post photos of themselves on Instagram every day. But for me, what others think of me is not something I need to protect myself from. On the contrary: it helps me to know that, both practically for my life and for my self-image.
Admittedly, this also shows that I neither independent nor absolutely self-confident am. But that doesn’t bother me much, unlike other people’s opinions. I wasn’t born a ready person. And I probably won’t even die a finished person. Even for this event in my life, it is important to me that at least one person thinks about me: “I miss her”.
video tip
Do you want other people to think you’re nice? In the video you will find out which habits immediately make you more likeable.
