Psychology: Why we suddenly fear our “new-old” freedom

personality
Why is our FOMO now bigger than ever?

What is FOMO anyway?

The “fear of missing out” or in German, “the fear of missing out” is something that many encounter almost every day. The best friend posts a picture of the sport and we immediately think “Shit, I haven’t seen the inside of the gym for far too long!”. The colleague uploads a photo of the after-work drinks and we are annoyed about the rejection: “Oh man, why didn’t I pull myself up?”

We are social beings, so the basic need for exchange, connection and society is human. This is intensified by social media, because Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook and co. are constantly exposed to what other people are doing great. The pressure to experience something or the fear of missing something is constantly increasing. We also compare other people’s lives with ours and this tends to make us more dissatisfied and lonely. A bad cycle. Social media is only a small window to reality and not everything we see there corresponds to it 100 percent.

Who suffers from FOMO?

FOMO has almost nothing to do with age. This is what social researchers at Washington State University found out. Although smartphone use is increasing FOMO and this is probably attributed to younger people, all age groups are affected. The similarities lie in the personality of the people susceptible to FOMO. They are more often plagued by loneliness, more dissatisfied, place higher demands on themselves and tend to have a clouded self-image. The digital staging of experiences via apps maximizes the feeling of dissatisfaction every day.

FOMO and the pandemic

The lockdown, in which we were in the peak of the pandemic, thwarted our FOMO. Curfews. Bars and restaurants remained closed. We don’t even need to talk about clubs. Leisure activities were kept to a minimum. We were all in the same boat and nobody had to be afraid of missing out. Just not much has happened.

But normality is slowly returning to our everyday lives. Restaurants, cinemas and cafes have reopened. We can finally get out and see our friends and family. This naturally increases the pressure to experience as much as possible in your newly gained free time. Some would like to catch up on everything that they have missed in the past year and a half. Pure leisure stress! One of the most frequently said sentences in 2020 was: “We’ll make up for it all!” What if we don’t feel like doing it anymore?

It doesn’t always have to be full throttle

Just because you can now again and you set yourself up to do everything possible back then, we don’t have to now! There’s no need to spend the weekend in the club, run to the gym three times a week, or check out new restaurants every other night. On the contrary, while it is perfectly fine to do that, it is not reprehensible not to do it. Our shoulders, still weakened by the pandemic, have to get used to all these freedoms again. To be among many people, socializing, all of this is a change that uses up energy and, at least in some cases, has to be relearned.

What the pandemic showed us: JOMO instead of FOMO

Countless lockdowns have made it clear to us that a full schedule should not be a status symbol and that doing nothing can also be good. That a cell phone break, especially from social networks, is sometimes the savior in an emergency and helps to just listen to yourself and switch off. FOMO can become JOMO (“joy of missing out”): Be completely honest with yourself. Do you really feel like going to this party, even though you have to get up at six o’clock tomorrow and actually can’t allow yourself a hangover. No? That is perfectly legitimate. Deciding consciously against an event and instead indulging in “me time” can be liberating.
Studies show: FOMO affects the general mood and can promote mental illness. It is all the better that with increasing mental health awareness, attention is drawn to such problems. People post photos of themselves chilling out under the hashtag #jomo (Joy of missing out). And under # mehrrealitätaufinstagram influencers show: inside the very unspectacular, everyday things in life – without glamor and fanfare. That little change can honestly be refreshing. And so doing nothing may become socially acceptable after all.

Sources: deutschlandfunk.de, taz.de, suedddeutsche.de

Brigitte