Jessica Hood knows what it means to be a mother. Now she dares to address a topic that many prefer to ignore: the dark side of being a mother, self-doubt and the urge to run away.
Jessica Hood is a mother of four. In the past six years, she has not only learned to change diapers and to have fun with children – but also that motherhood has its downsides. Every parent will feel this once after swapping sleep for baby cries all night long. But unlike Jessica, hardly anyone dares to say it: "It's hard to be a mother, even on a good day."
Quadruple mother: "We are all in the same boat"
Honesty is what Jessica Hood wants to convey on her Instagram account "houseofhoods_". There you will also find many peace, joy and pancake moments from your family life, but not only. You can also see angry children and a sad mom at the Hoods. "In order to give all parents an insight into our everyday life and make them a reality … We are all in the same boat!" Writes Jessica on her blog.
Now the 31-year-old has published a picture that shows her at a moment when most people want to crawl under the covers. Jessica cries. Two thick, round tears roll down her cheeks. Nevertheless, her gaze is directly on the camera. She looks at the lens and her feelings. It does not suppress them, but pronounces them – and with them many mothers (and perhaps also fathers) from the soul.
I drown in tears of guilt, frustration and overwhelming
Who is a happy mother shouldn't be sad? Doubt? And sometimes wish you were far away? Not correct. Jessica Hood wants to clear up with this prejudice: "I am just like you. I doubt my family decisions every day. I wonder if I will ever be good enough," she writes frankly and adds: "Even on good days it's hard to be a mother ".
Every day, like many other mothers worldwide, Jessica does her best for her family. She is a housewife, which many people still consider "excuse to be unemployed and lazy". She smears bread, she takes care of her four children. And he catches his imagination "fleeing to a desert island with endless cocktails and sunshine".
Is it okay to dream of escaping to a desert island with endless cocktails and sunshine?
Jessica is not alone with this thought. This is shown by the numerous comments below the post. It's okay when everything gets too much sometimes. It's okay to write about how she does it: "Sometimes I don't want to be responsible. I want to carry the weight on my shoulders." Instead, she misses "being immature and selfish". Spending money on yourself, just thinking about yourself – these desires cross the minds of many parents. But many don't dare to put them into words.
How mothers can help each other
Jessica wanted to be one of the "fantastic, fun mothers we hear so much about, but we never really meet". Maybe because they don't exist? Isn't it this perfect, unrealistic picture of motherhood that puts women under so much pressure? Jessica wants to change that. By also talking about the dark side of the new phase of life with children: "Being a mother messes up your mental health. It takes away everything that you were, removes it completely until you are the brand new person you are not recognizable. "
It would be so easy to reduce the load – by shouldering it together. By not ousting them for fear of being sentenced: "My children are great, the best thing that has ever happened to me, but I wish someone would listen and understand without judging." That is why Jessica calls in her contribution to speak to each other more openly. Not just on the Internet, protecting anonymity, but in reality. Because then every woman will find out: she is not alone. And together, it dreams much more openly of the beach in the Caribbean.