Quiet firing, mobbing, bossing: the bosses’ psychological tricks

You sound like an anachronism, the bosses who make life difficult for their employees. Today, abuse of power and abusive behavior are so widely discussed that neurotic, manipulative bosses should actually have disappeared from the world of work.

But they are not. They no longer go through the rows of desks like slave drivers and look over their shoulders to check whether they are really working. Rather, they intrigue in secret and proceed more strategically in the harassment. Bullying methods have become more subtle.

In their “Office for Career Strategy” in Berlin, the two psychologists Jürgen Hesse and Hans Christian Schrader advise people who can no longer stand their job. One of the most frequently cited reasons: the boss. In her new guide “My boss is crazy – is yours too?” tell what your clients are experiencing.

There’s the boss who doesn’t tolerate anyone going home before him. Anyone who dares will be reprimanded before everyone else. Another boss tells his employees when they log off because their mother has died: “But that’s very inappropriate today.” There are said to be female bosses who go through the wastepaper baskets in the evening for signs that their employees are lazy and useless.

You’ve experienced it yourself, or HR departments know how to tell about it: bosses who throw away plants and personal items on their desks with the words: “Private stuff doesn’t belong in the office.” The intern testified later. The story of the colleague who found his own resignation next to the printer sounds even more unbelievable. He doesn’t believe in coincidence.

It is said that power is shifting from employers to employees. With the current shortage of skilled workers, employees could increasingly shape the job on their own terms. The younger generation no longer wants to work overtime, they no longer want to be available after five in the evening. She prefers service to rule.

This philosophy of life is referred to as “Quiet Quitting”, the inner resignation that its followers carry out: Before they really get going at work, they are already on the move again.

That’s the page. On the other hand, however, it shows that superiors still have considerable power. A term has recently been circulating that follows as an answer to “quiet quitting”: under the hashtag #Quiet Firing, young employees report on social networks how their bosses are pushing them out of the job.

She was “forgotten” in the mailing list

In the case of “being fired silently”, a supervisor bullies people until they quit of their own accord. Projects are taken away from them, they are passed over for promotions, they are assigned dull tasks. They are “forgotten” in the mailing list, or the boss criticizes them for no objective reason. Often this is not open bullying, but the message that you are unwanted is sent subliminally.

Of course, “Quiet Firing” is just a new name for behavior patterns that have always been around. It is no coincidence that the phenomenon is now causing a stir, as previous values ​​in the working world are being called into question. Employees are less willing to put up with it and quickly perceive behavior as inappropriate. If the boss says: “If you don’t like it, you can go,” you mentally begin to clear your desk. People used to duck away and think: “He’s in a bad mood again.”

If only it were a bad mood, like everyone has at one point or another – but some bosses show their personality in their demeanor. In their book about crazy bosses, Jürgen Hesse and Hans Christian Schrader write that those who have an unusual personality disproportionately often occupy management positions. The two authors do not shy away from the names when they ask: “Why do we find so many lunatics and psychopaths among our bosses?”

According to a representative survey in Germany, two out of three employees consider their boss to be unsuitable both professionally and in terms of personality. Of course, even the powerless are not always objective in such assessments. One reacts sensitively to the power imbalance. The way employees look at their superiors is also not always fair. But studies confirm the feeling of many: Depending on the study, between 6 and 25 percent of managers are psychopathically predisposed. The higher up in the hierarchy, the crazier.

This does not mean that every manager who misbehaves is also mentally ill, as the authors themselves admit. To put it less bluntly, the finding is that the proportion of people with pronounced personality traits in management positions is six times higher than the average for the population.

The executive chair attracts narcissists

We know who is meant by the “psycho boss”, who can also just be a neurotic. So many of them have strong narcissistic traits. You are absolutely convinced of yourself and appear engaging in it. That’s why they got the top position. You are fearless. They can empathize with others to the extent that they know how to manipulate them. Good at acting, they lie whenever necessary. They pass on confidential information in order to intimidate, terrorize or play employees off against one another.

Also typical of the narcissistic boss: He treats every new employee better than the rest of the team, since he can better reflect his own size in the fresh relationship. However, he is only interested in the newcomer for as long as he accepts him unreservedly. Anyone who dares to criticize something is sorted out in extreme cases – friends and employees are affected by this.

It becomes toxic with a mixture of narcissistic and paranoid personalities. This type quickly feels threatened and already senses a conspiracy when his team goes out for lunch together.

But despite all the polemics against the powerful: a certain amount of madness seems necessary to get to the top.

The prototype of the obnoxious, but also brilliant CEO is Elon Musk. If his employees don’t show the same willingness and dedication as he does, they will feel his contempt. For example, he gave Twitter employees an ultimatum to either commit to overtime or resign. When his longtime assistant and confidant at Tesla asked for a raise, he fired her. “Is the richest person in the world the worst boss in the world?” asked the Los Angeles Times. That’s not a contradiction.

Men like Musk have a thirst for recognition, but they are also willing to work hard for it. A company benefits from their visionary and risk-taking thinking. In the longer term, however, the egomaniac qualities of a boss can also damage a company, as numerous examples from the financial sector show.

The American President Abraham Lincoln said: “If you want to know the character of a man, give him power.” The will to power requires certain qualities that help one gain power. Once in power, these qualities become all the more apparent.

Not every nasty saying is bullying

The authors Jürgen Hesse and Hans Christian Schrader explain the borderline behavior of “crazy bosses” with early childhood experiences: loveless parents, the feeling of being at the mercy or of inadequacy. These people compensate for such deficits with power. They have excessive demands on themselves and gain a sense of control through tyranny towards others.

But such psychologizations still do not excuse tyranny. And they don’t help the employees either. What can these do? For example, they document all of the supervisor’s misconduct so that they have something on hand should the worst come to the worst.

But it takes a lot before someone can be prosecuted, says Zurich lawyer Regula Bärtschi, who specializes in employment law. Young people in particular often misjudged this: Not every criticism or every act perceived as humiliation is already bullying, a nasty saying is not proof of systematic putting down, against which one can take legal action.

Today, the young generation quickly becomes “too much,” says Bärtschi. Nevertheless, she thinks it’s good that she no longer accepts everything. In any case, the cases of conflicts with superiors in her law firm have not decreased, except perhaps in relation to sexual harassment: “thanks to the Equal Opportunities Act and #MeToo”.

Despite New Work and a new work culture in which flat hierarchies and leadership are popular in which employees are involved in decisions and are given responsibility; despite companies that align their code of values ​​and behavior with the well-being of their employees: the boss who bullies his team is not dying out. Even the authors of “My boss is crazy – is yours too?” makes this resigned. They repeatedly advise “going in good time” as a measure against nasty bosses. to cancel.

Those who don’t dare have an effective weapon today: they resign internally. That’s how he keeps his composure when he’s actually fired.

Jürgen Hesse, Hans Christian Schrader: My boss is crazy – yours too? Econ-Verlag, Berlin 2022. 368 p.