Relationship: 5 hidden signs of emotional abuse


Emotional abuse can vary and is not always obvious. All the better if we learn to recognize even subtle signals as warning signs.

Emotional abuse can appear in all kinds of relationships and take many different forms. Mostly it happens unconsciously, that is, the person who treats another person inappropriately at their expense and in their favor knows and does not even notice that they are doing it. Typically, the abusing person tries to compensate with their behavior for something that they lack healthy strategies to deal with.

Anyone who experiences emotional abuse themselves may not always recognize it as such and be able to classify it – but usually the person concerned feels that something is wrong, that something is not as it should be, because she: he is through the Relationship in which the abuse occurs, feels bad and uncomfortable.

The following behaviors can be signals of emotional abuse.

5 hidden signs of emotional abuse

1. Always ask for an answer on the spot

Expecting an immediate reaction, for example to a text message or a call or to a topic in a conversation, is a controlling behavior that usually results from uncertainty and usually puts the other person under considerable pressure and stress. For example, when someone writes to you how was pilates yesterday? and sent after ten minutes later why don’t you answer what’s going on? this can be an indication of emotional abuse. It is also a concern if, while you are talking, a person does not give you the time to express yourself. Most of the time, such behavior makes us feel stressed and uncomfortable in a relationship and, for example, are afraid to read messages because the other person then sees that we have read them and we think we have to answer.

2. Refusing affection out of spite or revenge

If a person is cold and distant after something happened in the relationship that they didn’t like – the: the other person canceled because she: he needed time for himself, for example – this is often a form of passive-aggressive punishment and rebellion against the limits other people set. When confronted with such behavior, we often feel insecure and think that we have done something wrong to be wrongbecause it signals to us that the person in question seems to love or like us less than before.

3. Don’t explain why you are angry / hurt – but expect redress

Obviously angry or offended, but leaving the other person in the dark about why, often speaks for an excessive need for control and a certain degree of egomania: The: The other person should think about me, put themselves in my shoes and think about how he can get me to forgive him: her. It usually works pretty well: When we experience such behavior, we typically develop feelings of guilt and actually deal a lot with the person from whom we are receiving the signal.

4. Downplaying what is important to the other person

Devaluing things that mean something to the other person, for example through an obviously low level of interest, is a typical strategy for keeping someone down and torpedoing that person’s self-esteem and sense of independence. When the other person conveys to us that what we are enthusiastic about and what we are concerned with has no relevance for him or for others, this usually triggers doubts in us and we begin to question what we do and what is important to us is.

5. Demonstrate the other person

Saying or doing something that triggers a person’s feelings of shame can also indicate emotional abuse – especially if it happens more often in a relationship. Examples would be statements like But that’s new to me that you are so on this topict in a conversation with several people or an outing by the supposed confidant in a situationally sensitive matter: My girlfriend always watches Trash TV, after all those present have just stated that they find the level to be level or something similar. When we feel ashamed, we feel small and insecure and develop inhibitions about opening up and trusting other people.

Regardless of whether it is a friendship, partnership or any other type of social connection: A relationship in which we repeatedly experience behaviors like this is not healthy and does not fulfill the purpose of our relationships – to give us strength and good to do. As difficult as it may be in individual cases, it would be better to distance ourselves from people who send these and similar signals to us and instead spend more time with people who don’t – and with whom we feel comfortable.

Sources used: respectively-magazin.de, netdoktor.de

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Brigitte