Relationship
5 signs that you are not one of the priorities in your relationship
© Elena Kalinicheva / Adobe Stock
Do you feel like you are no longer as important to your partner as you once were? How to know that you are unfortunately not a priority in your relationship.
Sometimes there are subtle signs, sometimes very clear ones, that make us feel that everything else is more important to the other person than we are. In some cases, however, your feeling can be wrong – perhaps there is a big project coming up that requires your partner’s full attention. Everything was fine immediately before and it will be again afterwards. However, you can find out here how you can tell that in the long term you are probably not one of the priorities in your relationship.
5 signs that you are not a priority in your relationship
No interest in everyday life
If your partner hardly asks how you are, how your day was and what your opinion is about XY, he or she doesn’t seem to have much interest in you. His own life and his own feelings outweigh him: her. Even if you ask something, you don’t get a detailed, good answer, just nothing at all or a curt “Okay,” “Sure,” “Yes, do it like that.” The limited interest applies not only to real life, but also to digital life: your calls and messages are often ignored or at least not answered for a long time.
Little attention
Who doesn’t enjoy little surprises in a relationship? Simply receiving a bouquet of flowers every now and then, a bar of chocolate or nothing material, but a nice massage or the offer that you can choose the film today makes us happy. This makes us feel loved and we know that our partner is thinking of us and wants to do something good for us. Care is about both an emotional and a physical level. If it doesn’t happen and the other person only focuses on themselves and doesn’t respond to your needs at all, it’s a sign that your relationship is one-sided.
No plans
The next signal that you are not a priority in your relationship is that you do not have any plans together. Or, more importantly, your partner does not have any plans with you. If you talk about long-term goals, the subject will quickly change. Even shorter-term ideas, such as a weekend trip together or even just a night at the movies, will never be suggested by your partner and if you suggest them, instead of great joy you will get a “Hmm, we’ll see” or “I don’t know yet.”
No support
No matter whether you mention shared plans or just ask how your day was, your counterpart’s answers will become increasingly pat. You are ignored and your wishes are quickly pushed aside. It’s the same when you ask for support, whether it’s unloading the dishwasher, helping you choose a gift, or helping you achieve your long-awaited goal. And if support doesn’t even come when you ask for it, without doing so, it will probably never be offered at all.
Frequent conflicts with threats
First of all, you always try to avoid arguments. To do this, you sacrifice yourself, put your own wishes and needs aside and try to do everything to make the other person happy. If you are afraid of losing your partner if you see or do something differently than them, you are definitely not one of their top priorities. But your fear is not without reason: if an argument does occur, you will quickly be threatened with the end of the relationship. The feeling that logically comes to you is that you are not that important to them.
Does any of this sound familiar? Then sit down with your partner and explain how you feel. Make sure you both remain objective and let each other speak. Find solutions that work for both of you – compromises are fine, as long as you’re not the only one offering them. Think about what connects you and what thoughts or activities you enjoyed in good times. Maybe you’ll rediscover an old passion that will rekindle your love? Ultimately, the most important thing is to listen to yourself and your feelings about how or whether you can be happy with him/her.
Sources used: bustle.com, single-ehe-familien-beratung-muenchen.de, deno-licina.com