relationship
This is what you should know about someone before you say “I love you”
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We all agree on that: telling someone “I love you” is something special. Even more so when we actually have the information we need to mean it …
Not that you have to weigh every word on the gold scales, but with the sentence “I love you” you should be as sure as possible that you actually mean it. Because taking back, relativizing or not acting accordingly is difficult with these words and possibly hurtful for one or two people. Admittedly, there is never one hundred percent security, especially not when it comes to true love, which nobody knows exactly what it actually is. But anyone who says “I love you” to someone they don’t know the following things is playing a very risky game – and it’s best not to play with feelings at all.
5 things you should know about someone before you say “I love you”
1. Does he care what you are feeling?
When you say “I love you” to someone, you are pouring out your heart to them – and you should be sure that they will be interested and Your feelings mean something to him on top of that. Has he ever asked what moves you? Did he listen to you and respond to you when you revealed yourself to him? If so, that is, if you have had the experience that he genuinely cares about what you are feeling, good. If that is not the case – it is better to tell him what a dog baby has in you before you confess your love to him.
2. Do you understand each other? So really?
It is not written anywhere “Love means to really understand each other”, but numerous studies show that two things are particularly important for a long, harmonious relationship: humor and communication. To be on the same wavelength seems to be important or even necessary in order to be able to love one another. Therefore: If you are not sure that you two are on the same wavelength, he understands your jokes, can understand your fears, etc. – if you are not sure of this, you can not even begin to be sure that you love him. Not forever, anyway.
3. At what point is he in his life?
The aim here is to find out whether your possible love is receptive to your words at all and whether it can handle them: What is this person’s life like right now? Is she so focused on her job that there is little room for other things? Is she always out for fun and adventure? Or so determined to find a wife, have children and build a house that she may not care who she puts a ring on? Even if your love is real and the person you feel it for deserves it – if the time is not right for it, you should keep your feelings to yourself for now.
4. Can you trust him?
One thing is clear: if you tell someone that you love them, you are making yourself vulnerable. In theory, he could use your confession to take advantage of you, to play with you, or something. It is therefore important that the person to whom you reveal yourself has already proven that you can trust him and that he means it honestly to you. And after all, only then is his answer – whatever it is – worth anything.
5. Can you forgive him and make sacrifices for him?
It might sound strange, but: If someone has never disappointed or hurt you, or have never had a difficult time together, it is difficult to tell whether you love them. Of course you feel drawn to someone and associate positive emotions with them if you always have fun together and your life is easy non-stop. But would you also be able to accept if the person hurts you (accidentally)? Would you be willing to put back and make sacrifices for her to be with her? When we really love a person, we overcome our egoism for him because our love is greater than our other needs. If we can’t do that, it may be our egoism that connects us with this person – but not love.