Relationship: Is “phubbing” ruining our relationships?

Phubbing
This common habit is damaging to our relationships

When we don’t feel seen, it often leads to arguments or negative feelings. Some people believe that the other person doesn’t really respond to them or doesn’t listen, or that our presence obviously bores the other person. In the worst case, we ask ourselves whether it even makes sense to meet. A certain behavior can cause all of these assumptions: the occasional glance at the cell phone. To many it seems harmless, but research suggests that the reality is different.

The phenomenon of “phubbing”

“Phubbing” refers to this Habit of looking at cell phones in the presence of others. It comes from the words “phone” and “snubbing,” which is translated, among other things, as “indifferently dismissive.” According to research, it can definitely be damaging to our relationships, and we’ve certainly experienced what phubbing can do. Reactions vary from individual to individual. People who are more positive about the behavior usually see it as less problematic when others do it. Others feel ignored or feel like interacting with them is unimportant. There is also often a domino effect: When one person starts phubbing, we also look at the cell phone ourselves; in a group we sometimes take turns until everyone has pulled out their cell phone once – regardless of whether there is a new message or not.

Danger!
With phubbing, you hurt your partner without you noticing

July 10, 2020

What phubbing means for relationships

Some research has already found that phubbing can have negative consequences on our friendships or relationships. However, not all datasets are representative and further research needs to be done in the area. In one study 308 people were named after her Life satisfactionthe satisfaction in their relationship as well as the perceived romantic relationship quality asked. These values ​​were compared with a scale for partner phubbing. The results suggested that phubbing had a negative impact on perceived relationship quality and satisfaction. These two, in turn, correlated with overall life satisfaction. So phubbing had a direct and indirect impact on all areas.

But phubbing can not only be viewed negatively in your love life, but also among friends, colleagues or family. Some people feel excluded, which can have both emotional and behavioral effects. The results of a smaller scale study with 182 participants suggests that phubbing another person has a negative effect on the other person’s mood. The feeling of exclusion is increased and fundamental needs are not met. People who recalled a situation in which they picked up their cell phone also reported lower need satisfaction and a greater feeling of exclusion, although to a lesser extent. However, when it came to negative mood, phubbers achieved the same level as people who had felt excluded in such a situation.

There are many reasons against phubbing

There are many other areas of research that suggest that using a cell phone in the presence of others can have negative consequences. A study by the University of California According to this, for example, using parents in the presence of their children could harm the emotional intelligence of their offspring. Some observational and experimental studies also provide evidence that parental sensitivity and responsiveness can be negatively influenced by parents’ smartphone use.

What we can do about phubbing

Many people are already trying to limit cell phone use. Sometimes this may not work out when we are traveling with others because of certain commitments. The number of Smartphone users According to “Statista” it is around 67.6 million people – it’s difficult not to fall into certain patterns that many people have acquired over the years. But what we can do is to pay attention to our behavior. If we don’t expect an important message, the cell phone can stay in our pocket while eating with our friend. If we need to be on call for something, it’s best to communicate that at the beginning of the meeting or at the latest when we actually have to pick up our cell phone. And if a friend constantly checks their messages and this behavior bothers us, it’s best to speak up about it. Maybe he:she isn’t even aware of what this triggers in us. It can be so nice to just enjoy the moment without digital distractions. And fortunately we can practice making these happen more often again.

Sources used: unibas.ch, frontiersin.org, ncbi.nlm.nih.gov, de.statista.com

lcl
Bridget