Relationship
Couple therapist differentiates between three levels of communication – which one are you on?
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If two people can successfully and peacefully communicate with each other, this is a good prerequisite for a harmonious relationship. But what exactly does that mean? The therapist Robert Taibbi differentiates between three levels of communication that can help with classification.
If you can’t communicate with other people, you usually have a problem – because almost all of our relationships are based on communication. Especially for our intimate, personal relationships such as partnerships and friendships, it is crucial how (successfully) we communicate and exchange ideas. Normally, communication is a team effort, which means that both or all participants contribute to making it work or not work.
We can improve our communication skills and adapt to each other over the course of a relationship, so to speak increase our team performance. Based on his experience working with couples and families, author and therapist Robert Taibbi distinguishes three stages of communication that people in a close relationship can climb or get stuck at. Knowing and being aware of these stages can help with climbing.
Three levels of communication: which one are you on?
Level 1: A journey into the void
If two people are on communication level 1 according to Robert Taibbi, they typically have no idea what their conversation or argument is about and what they want to achieve with it. What’s the point? What do we want to clarify? According to the expert, those involved lose sight of these questions or do not have them on their screens from the start. So most conversations take a course in which each side just wants to get rid of as much as possible and bring the other side up to speed.
Level 2: A trip according to the street plan
For Robert Taibbi, communication level 2 means when two people know what an exchange is about, but they keep getting lost and need to remind themselves that they have a goal and how to get there. According to the therapist, typical for conversations or arguments on this level are statements like “that’s not the point now” or “let’s not start with that too”. At this level, the participants already develop an awareness of their communication habits, weaknesses and strengths and thus already fulfill the prerequisites for being able to develop further.
Level 3: In the fast lane
According to the therapist, anyone who has reached communication level 3 according to Robert Taibbi can communicate and exchange information safely and accident-free. Whether discussions about the household, conversations about experiences, feelings, plans or wishes, at this level communication is clearly advanced, who skillfully consider sore points, misunderstandings and potential for conflict and respond to them without losing sight of the goal or drifting off the path. Reaching this level means that two people have come very far together – and have every chance of going much further.
Source used: psychologytoday.com