happy kilos
Yes, there is a relationship belly – and it is a sign of happiness
Relationship bumps indicate a happy relationship.
© Jacob Lund / Guido
The relationship belly is not a myth. Rather, it is a sign of a happy relationship.
Many people wonder about their relationship tummy – they have spent the last few months cuddling up on the couch with their partners, have regularly gone to feast and forgone jogging in order to watch the latest cinema strip together armed with delicious popcorn instead.
In this article, we reveal why a tummy in a relationship is a good sign – and when you should address the topic of nutrition and health in a relationship.
The relationship tummy is difficult to examine
The relationship tummy is not a myth, although it is difficult to study scientifically. In a society where beauty is defined by unrealistic (in some cases even unhealthy) body ideals and fitness, a few extra pounds don’t really fit into the picture. “A lot of people are surprised,” Sarah A. Novak, a professor of psychology at Hostra University, told The Washington Post.
“It’s a very common notion that a relationship should make us better in every way and help maintain our health and well-being.” Depending on how you think about weight, the relationship tummy – especially in a healthy and happy relationship – is “nonsensical” for some, according to the psychologist.
The longer a woman has been in a relationship, the more likely she is to gain weight
Speaking to The Washington Post, Penny Gordon-Larsen, professor of global nutrition at the University of North Carolina, says weight gain in relationships is particularly difficult to study. On the one hand, in most cases only the data of one person and not both would be available, on the other hand, it is also rare for researchers to collect data about people before and during a relationship.
In a Forsa survey from 2017, a quarter of respondents said they gained weight during their relationship – however, only three percent felt that their attractiveness would suffer as a result. A study from 2012 deals with the topic of weight and relationships: Accordingly, the transition from single life to living together or marriage is associated with an increased probability of weight gain. The results differed between the men and women examined: while the risk of weight gain increased for men between the first and second year together, it was more likely for women the longer they were in a relationship.
Why people gain weight when they get into a relationship Cuddling, chilling, watching series: A nice, but not particularly active, pastime © ivanko80 / Guido
Professor Gordon-Larsen sees a possible explanation for the relationship tummy in the major changes in lifethat often come with getting into a relationship: “That’s the point in life when you get a new job, have a busy schedule, or move out of the family home and cook for yourself.” Each of these factors can have an impact on any weight gain, according to the scientist. Nevertheless, it is almost impossible to determine the exact reason for the relationship tummy, although there are many possible factors:
- A busy schedulewhich disrupts health routines such as the daily jog
- The tendency to go to restaurants together more often
- More time together on the couchduring which the favorite series are watched
- According to Gordon-Larsen, if you are with someone who tends to eat larger meals, they would too tend to increase their own portions
Why the relationship tummy is a sign of happiness
Noisy a study, co-authored by Professor Novak of Hostra University, happy couples who have been married for more than four years are twice as likely to gain weight as couples who say they are unhappy in their relationship. “It’s an indicator that people are comfortable,” explains Novak. “They put the relationship first and are more likely to say, ‘In our limited time, let’s go for brunch.'” Starving and torturing yourself on the treadmill every day to conform to society’s arbitrary body ideals and wanting to be “attractive” to total strangers? Happy couples can gratefully do without this.
The researchers theorize that less happy couples are more likely to maintain their weight because they were motivated by a desire to find a new partner. According to the researcher, anyone who believes that they can soon be single would rather invest in things that make them “more attractive”. This may include conforming to popular ideals of beauty by becoming more fit. And for those who have already left their own relationship behind emotionally, it is easier to invest more free time in a gym than in joint activities.
When the relationship tummy should become an issue It is worth looking for joint activities in relationships © Maridav / Guido
First of all, every body is beautiful just as it is. The Forsa survey has already shown that the absolute majority of respondents who have gained weight in the relationship still feel just as attractive. However, it may be that a person feels less comfortable in the relationship with the weight gain – then it is important to develop strategies (preferably together).
- Bring more activity into your everyday life together: Of course going to your favorite restaurant is tempting – or watching a new episode of your favorite series. But more active joint hobbies can also be fun, for example bike tours or maybe even a fitness course that you attend with your partner.
- Finding the golden mean: But if you both love going out to eat together so much, then you shouldn’t give that up either or even “put fitness at the expense of the relationship in the foreground,” emphasizes Novak. Sometimes you just go hiking, sometimes you lie in bed all day – and that’s absolutely fine. “Think together: What can we do differently and still be connected to each other?” advises the professor.
- Talk to each other: This is the best and most important tip in relationships anyway. Formulate your needs and feelings and take your counterpart with you. It is best to tell your:your partner:in clearly what changes you have made in everyday life and you discuss together whether and to what extent your counterpart would like to participate. He:she can also support you, for example when it comes to portions: “Please don’t offer me a second helping, it’s too much of a challenge for me to refuse, even though I’m not really hungry anymore.”
- Where to set boundaries: The topic of food and especially weight is quite sensitive. It’s not your partner’s job to check how much you’ve eaten that day. Questions like, “Are you sure you want dessert?” are excessive and absolutely undesirable. “Even if they have the best of intentions, when partners focus on your attractiveness — or make jokes, or tease you in a way that isn’t cute — that’s an absolute red flag,” Novak said.
Sources used: washingtonpost.com, psycnet.apa.org, onlinelibrary.wiley.com, br.de