Relationship: Women Telling: At that moment I decided to leave him

Even though most of them take time to break up, there is precisely one key moment for many when their decision is made. Seven women share their defining moment.

When a relationship is over, it usually reveals itself slowly and bit by bit – but for most of them there is exactly one moment when they themselves realize that the time has come. At “Bustle“Many women shared their key experience that made them leave their partner. We have summarized seven examples for you.

“I decided to leave him when …”

1. “… he lied in my face about his affair”

Meghan, 23: “When I was 22, I met a man I met at Tinder. We dated for a few months and it went really well. One evening I got a message on Instagram from a woman I wasn’t She was his ex and she revealed to me that he had sex with her while he was with me and that he told her we weren’t serious. When I asked him about it, he lied to me and again told me that his ex wasn’t a big deal. Obviously he wasn’t over her yet. I broke up with him and wished them both a good life together – I just wanted him to admit his mistakes and at least apologize. “

2. “… he told me he doesn’t want children.”

Robyn, 37: “I married my high school sweetheart when I was 25. We agreed on everything: house building, kids, even the age we wanted them to be (at 30!). When we turned 30 , we were still in agreement: ‘Let’s wait two more years …’ At 32 I was ready, but when I brought up the subject, he confessed to me that he no longer wanted children. He said he had them Decision made six months ago, apologizing for not sharing it with me sooner. I felt like I was hit in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t leave immediately (it took me another three months after that), but At that very moment I knew that our relationship had to end. “

3. “… it was my birthday – and never heard from him!”

Lindy, in her 40s: “The decisive moment was on my birthday. I had waited all day to hear from him. But nothing came at all. No phone call, no e-mail, no message, nothing. Complete radio silence – That was it. In that moment I realized something that I had known for a long time: We just didn’t belong together anymore. Strangely, that felt okay to me, I was even a little grateful. That was the confirmation I needed. In retrospect, that was the best birthday present he could give me. Because even if the separation was difficult, it made me stronger and brought me back to myself. “

4. “… I picked up her cell phone and saw a lot of messages that I would rather not have seen.”

Clara, 35: “When I was with my ex-girlfriend, she was more in a ‘I’ll try it out and date several people’. Of course she didn’t tell me that. Once When she was in the shower, her phone sounded the alarm and just wouldn’t stop. I wanted to concentrate on my work and picked it up to turn it off – and I saw a lot of messages that I would rather not have seen she came out of the shower, I just said ‘Sarah wants to know when you’ll be with her afterwards’ and the matter was clear. ”

5. “… I wanted to help him and he just hung up the phone”

Kateri, 37: “I was 35 when, after a few months in a relationship, I realized that my partner was unable to motivate himself and take his life into his own hands – and that that meant I had to leave him. We were out in the evening, but I was Felt something was wrong with him, so I called him the next day to see if everything was okay, and he complained that he still had to fix his car, something he’d been putting off for days . Personally, I can be very motivated and have no problems doing things that need to be done. So I encouraged him, very lovingly, on the phone to finally tackle his car project – whereupon he just hung up! I was shocked. Me wants to help him and he just hangs up! After this incident I wrote him a long e-mail in which I explained to him that it was over, that I first had to learn to love myself and that I did not deserve to be treated like that. “

6. “… he just wanted to throw away an old pumpkin.”

Sandi, in her 30s: “At 28, I was with a very good guy, but he was pretty conservative, stiff and rigid. I, on the other hand, am more creative, free-spirited and impulsive. In November we had a hollowed-out pumpkin left over from Halloween. When I asked him what he was going to do with it, he replied, “Throw it away, of course.” With my imaginative mind, I suggested the following ideas: Put a diaper on the pumpkin and put it in front of the neighbor’s door, with a note with the request to adopt him. Or make it look like the pumpkin is vomiting. My friend looked at me, his gaze petrified, and said, ‘I can’t do that – I’m an adult, after all.’ BÄM! That’s exactly where I knew that someone who can’t take jokes about an old pumpkin is NOT the right person for me. “

7. “… he told me to reconsider my career.”

Jesse, 30: “My ex said a few things that rang my alarm bells, but he also went into therapy – he still had some unanswered problems with his family. I’m about to do my PhD at Edinburgh University and he has to start with Totally supported me. He was happy that I had made it and talked about moving to Scotland with me. But one day he confessed to me that he didn’t want to be with anyone who had a PhD Going to therapy or getting advice to find out if this is really what I want to achieve. That! It was! I didn’t even cry after him. I was so glad and relieved that I had the strength and power to walk him when I realized he wasn’t good for me. “

Video tip: 7 signs you don’t love yourself enough


Brigitte