Resilience or how to overcome hardship

Mourning, illness, violence… How do those who suffer or have suffered trauma (more or less deep) and who, however, have managed to rebuild themselves without falling into depression? This is what shrinks call resilience. We explain …

Resilience, a capacity to overcome trials

In physics, resilience reflects the ability of a body to resist shocks and return to its initial structure. Adapted to psychology, it refers to the capacity of an individual to overcome painful moments in life and to develop, despite adversity in his environment. The term has also been used in the field of global warming and the “Transition towns” project to make every society more sustainable and resilient in the face of the worrying climate situation.

In other words, resilience consists of taking note of a trauma (crisis, bereavement, abandonment, risk, incest, sexual violence, disease, war), learning to "live with" and bounce back by changing perspective, or even withdrawing from it. some strength.

Developing the concept of resilience

First mentioned in the 1940s by American school psychologists, then in France in the early 1980s by John Bowlby (pediatrician and psychoanalyst), the concept of resilience was popularized by Boris Cyrulnik, ethologist, neuropsychiatrist and psychoanalyst.

Through various best-selling books (including Un superbe malheur), he exposed resilience as a vector of hope to the general public: “Unhappiness is never pure, nor is happiness. One word makes it possible to organize another way of understanding the mystery of those who came out: resilience, which designates the ability to succeed, to live, to develop despite adversity. ” Starting from his own experience and the observation of various groups of individuals (survivors of concentration camps, Bolivian street children), he demonstrated that one could approach psychology and psychoanalysis in a more optimistic and less stigmatizing.

Unhappiness must therefore be seen as a stage that can be overcome.

Bibliography:

  • Resilience, basic knowledge, by Boris Cyrulnik and Gérard Jorland, a reference work by Odile Jacob. € 23.90 to order on Amazon.
  • At night, I would write suns, by Boris Cyrulnik, at Odile Jacob. A heartbreaking book, in which the author writes about the tears of famous writers, and highlights the healing powers of writing. A real favorite ! € 22.90 to order online here.

The mechanism of the resilience process

The Coronavirus crisis, the incest cases, the fires in California and Australia, wars or genocides … In recent months, individual and collective resilience has certainly been called into question. According to specialists, the resilient attitude is dynamic and goes through several phases of defense to counter negative trajectories.

– A resilient person goes through a revolt and a refusal to feel condemned to misfortune.

– Then come the dream and challenge, that is, the wish to come out of a trauma stronger, by reaching a goal.

– We also note theattitude of denial, which consists of creating an image of a strong person, full of energy in order to protect yourself from the pity of those around you, even if an inner fragility remains.

– Sometimes we need a helping hand from the outside to find our resilience, and that doesn't make us weaker or vulnerable. Free your word, share your wounds, ask for help… These acts also demonstrate resilience, a willingness to address and overcome suffering.

– Finally humor : a resilient person tends to develop a form of self-deprecation in the face of his trauma. A way not to indulge in sadness and to stop being exposed in the eyes of others as a victim of life.

It should also be noted that there are many resilient people who can enter a phase or project of creation (writing, drawing). A way to exorcise unhappiness, to think outside the box and indirectly mark their difference in society.

Innate and acquired factors

Certain genetic determinants must be taken into account. Indeed, depending on the individual, the brain will not produce the same dose of dopamine, serotonin, and therefore euphoric substances. Some children at birth will therefore be more "active" and psychologically stronger than others. In addition, children are generally better able to overcome trauma than adults thanks to their psychic flexibility. As psychiatrist Dr Michael Larara explains in an article on Moms' Speech, “Children do not defend themselves against trauma like an adult, they incorporate them into their lives, digest them and metabolize them. He can change his frame of reference and modify elements of his personality to adapt as best as possible. ” However, some trauma spill out much later, especially in cases of incest.

A study led by Professor Catherine Bungener and Professor Sébastien Montel from Paris Descartes University highlights other factors in childhood that promote the capacity for resilience if a drama occurs: the character of the child (flexible, confident , not afraid of risks) and the family atmosphere in which it flourishes (harmonious, reassuring, strong maternal attachment).

Can we learn resilience?

After a shock or a painful ordeal, an individual, regardless of his age, is more or less forced to create a process of resilience. It is then a matter of accepting the blow of fate, of mastering it and then transforming it and thus being able to continue to live normally. Even if of course, the injury is present and always will be …

2 celebrities who overcame trauma or experienced misery before achieving success

Oprah Winfrey: Without a true parental figure, a child victim of abuse, rape, and incest, Oprah Winfrey did not live easy stages of development. Today she is a resilient queen of the talk show in the United States where the big celebrities have indulged. Among them, Michelle Obama, Beyoncé, and Meghan Markle.

Demi Lovato: Admitted to drug rehab for mental and physical health issues, including bulimia and bipolar disorder, the American singer now struggles with the stigma of mental illness.

Better quality of life

In the book “Resilience overcoming traumas” (2003) by Marie Anaut, author and professor of psychology at the Université Lumière Lyon-II, a quote clearly reveals the impact of a person's resilient quality on their condition, his energy, and his life: “We can say that resilience refers to the resources developed by a person, group or community, to tolerate and overcome the deleterious or pathogenic effects of trauma and to live despite adversity, maintaining a quality of life with the least amount of possible damage ”. Resilience helps us navigate painful times in life with the ability to cope with crises instead of falling into depression in the face of those difficult situations.

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The critics

If the concept of resilience is well accepted and used in the United States, it seems more difficult to impose in Europe. The reason: American psychologists are drawing more inspiration from behaviorism to analyze certain phenomena and establish therapies. Additionally, Americans have very resilient individual and collective lifelong psychology. From the age of 18, most of them take risks and leave their family environment to continue studying and working. Faced with the very high costs of studying, in addition to little help from government institutions, Americans confront the notion of resilience, take risks, and create new projects for themselves from the start.

In France, several psychoanalysts denounce the notion of resilience as a concept aiming to be more concerned with the symptoms rather than with the origin of the individual's ills. Alexandra Mignien, director, winner of the #EllesfontYouTube prize at the Frames Festival for her video “Je suis nue”, criticizes this concept.

In her YouTube video, “What Doesn't Kill Us,” she explains that the concept of resilience is so popular that it sometimes turns into an injunction. “What doesn't kill me makes me stronger”. But the director affirms on the contrary that when “We survive what didn't kill us, we don't become a survivor”. In other words, the idea of ​​resilience can be frowned upon. We forget that resilience does not always make us stronger, but sometimes “more alone” and instead of hiding your wounds, it is better to talk about it.

Far from being perceived as a sign of invulnerability, resilience nevertheless has the advantage of conveying in the eyes of the general public an optimistic and anti-fatalistic message, better still a "Realism of hope" as the Children's Foundation says.