Quite a lot of poison and plastic, our author Ronja Ebeling thought when she was looking for a new dildo. And then built her own sex toy.
Her fingers trembled ever so slightly as she ripped open the packet of the red, strawberry-flavored condom. Then she resolutely grabbed the cucumber lying on the table in front of her and, with a practiced movement, pulled the condom over the green vegetable. “But don’t get the idea of having fun with a sprouted cucumber, girls! There are other toys for that,” my biology teacher called after us as we stormed out of the classroom as quickly as possible after the bell rang.
Twelve years have passed since then, and now I not only know how to put on a condom, but I also know that infected cucumbers are the lesser evil when masturbating – albeit not a healthy alternative. Which we didn’t discuss in the sex education class back then: While there are clear guidelines for the materials used in children’s toys, as adults we often play with harmful substances. Stiftung Warentest determined in 2019 that only three out of 18 love toys are free of harmful substances and therefore safe to use – awesome, right?
The realization not only turns me off, it also infuriates me. Because it is particularly fatal for women: According to a study by the Technical University of Ilmenau, 72 percent like a toy during solo sex – probably without knowing what substances they are putting their bodies through. The main reason they are used is that they are so cheap – a cost factor in an industry that turns over 15 billion euros a year in online erotica alone. And even more in Corona times. What also freaks me out is that all the flesh-colored dildos that look like penises and the pink-colored plastic phalluses were mostly thought up by men, and the well-being and sexual health of women doesn’t seem to really interest anyone in this industry, otherwise they wouldn’t be processing poison.
Can cucumbers be a sin?
So I want to do it myself – the love toy. And of course the solo sex too. I think sex toys are the best way to find out what I want. Because the better I know what I like and what I don’t like, the more clearly I can communicate it to my partner. Because I don’t think that my orgasm is his responsibility. So I do some research and come across Anja Koschemann. The trained chemical laboratory assistant used to examine pollutants as an environmental engineer. When she took a closer look at the content of love toys almost 17 years ago, she was shocked and founded her label SelfDelve. She is now an expert for body and environmentally friendly love accessories and is now supposed to help me build my own sex toy. “Nothing better than that,” she promptly replies to my email request. “What exactly are you imagining?”
I browse through their online shop, which resembles a brightly colored organic vegetable shop. The selection is diverse, the different types of fruit and vegetables nourish the female body in very different ways: A raspberry, for example, can stimulate the clitoris. The corn on the cob massages the vaginal walls with its uneven structure. Thanks to its slender, pointed shape, the pepper even reaches the cervix – Anja calls this a “universe orgasm”. A cactus is for those who climax by stimulating the vulval lips. As a tribute to my former biology teacher and in the spirit of sex education, I finally decide, after careful consideration, for, exactly: the cucumber.
The chemistry is right
A few weeks later I’m standing in Anja Koschemann’s Dresden workshop and mixing two white silicone components in a jar in a ratio of one to one. This is so-called platinum silicone, which is also used in medicine and does not trigger any reactions in the body. “In the production of conventional sex toys, on the other hand, construction silicone is used, among other things, because it’s cheaper. That’s the stuff that’s used to seal the sink in the bathroom,” explains Anja. This type of silicone is full of plasticizers that penetrate the body through the mucous membranes in the intimate area. “Some of them can even be carcinogenic,” says the 47-year-old. I stop stirring at her words and think of the cheap vibrator that friends gave me for my 18th birthday: a bright pink thing with glue residue. “I had construction silicone in my body,” I summarize Anja’s statement again for myself. I feel sick.
“How is it that this is allowed?” I ask. “There are no legal standards for this,” says Anja. That’s why she double and triple check everything herself. So also the yellow and green color that she now gives me to let my gherkin ripen. “These are pigments that are also approved for the food industry,” she explains. Together we weigh out a few milligrams to mix the color with the platinum silicone. “The special feature is that the pigments react to temperature: when it’s cold, the cucumber glows a juicy green. Your body heat turns it light green,” says Anja. “And this gimmick is harmless to health?” I ask. Anya nods. These are the same pigments that are used to color baby food spoons. “They change color when the porridge is too hot,” she explains to me. Anja wants the same standards for adults here as for children. I nod enthusiastically and pour the highly concentrated silicone mass into a ready-made mold, in which it will solidify into my dildo over the next few hours.
© Franziska Kestel / Brigitte
Green vibes
While waiting I text Johanna Rief. She is – Attention! – Head of Sexual Empowerment of the brands Womanizer, We-Vibe and Arcwave, the most successful vibrators on the German market, she describes her industry as the Sexual Wellness Industry. Do you think there would be different standards for sex toys if it was mainly men who used them for masturbation? “Probably yes,” she says. “In the past centuries, however, research, medicine and science were mainly dominated by men. That’s why the male gender is the focus almost everywhere.” Sex toys are only slowly shedding their dodgy image, and health and sustainability standards are now being set by some companies on their own initiative. The Womanizer brand, for example, has just launched the first sustainable vibrator made from corn starch. A flagship toy in every respect: the brand guarantees a service life of five years, and the housing is biodegradable. Anja from SelfDelve also shows me her warehouse and explains that she has changed the packaging and now uses biodegradable grass paper and packaging chips made from corn starch instead of plastic film.
Back in the workshop, I open the mold and see that the cucumber has hardened. I immediately put my hands on it and start rubbing – I want to test immediately whether the color really changes! “Haa!” I exclaim contentedly, holding up the light green cucumber. It’s not entirely smooth, the small nubs are intended to massage the vaginal path, similar to corn on the cob, thereby increasing pleasure. In order to give the surface the finishing touch visually, I treat it with a spray pump. Slightly overwhelmed, I realize that it’s not that easy to drive the machine over the cucumber at the right rhythm. “It’s just my first time,” I mumble. The cucumber is now a bit blotchy. I look at her skeptically. I’m a veggie lover, but that’s supposed to be erotic and create lust? Hmmm, I don’t know.
Anja laughs when I tell her about my doubts. Through her love toys, she says, many people experience a first time and real aha moments. For example, the 80-year-old woman who spent half her adult life wanting to buy a sex toy, but who long condemned herself for her lust. Because the “SelfDelve” toys, shall we say, don’t look quite as disreputable as conventional ones, it was easier for her to actually fulfill this wish. At the same time, many couples try out new types of vegetables with Anja’s vegetables because it’s somehow easier with a banana, a raspberry or a corn cob in their hands. “It’s easier to laugh about it when something doesn’t work,” says Anja. “Humor takes the performance pressure off in bed.”
She seals my cucumber with a final layer of clear silicone. Then she ceremoniously hands me the vegetables in a metal can, and I feel a little proud: my self-made sex toy – environmentally friendly, healthy and full of love.
I take a picture of the cucumber and send the picture to my partner. “Have you eaten enough greens today?” I type in rather flat and laugh. Suddenly I know exactly what Anja meant when she said her love toys bring a good mood to the relationship. And that’s not all: the cucumber delivers what it promises and makes you want to eat it for a long time. Never again construction silicone, that’s all I’m saying. In any case, I’ve gotten used to not only having cucumbers lying around in the fridge, but also on the bedside table.
Ronja Ebeling speaks out in her book “Young, Concerned, Dependent: A Generation in Crisis”