The Netflix movie “Yes Day” makes us want to try saying yes to our kids for a whole day. But how do you organize it so that everything goes smoothly? Answers with Elena Goutard, parental and family coach.
What if you said “yes” to all of your child’s requests for 24 hours? This is the concept illustrated by the new Netflix film, “Yes Day”. In this family comedy, Jennifer Garner plays a “dictator” mother (according to her children). Determined to show them that she is capable of saying something other than “no” – and no longer leaving the role of the cool parent to her husband – she decides to take up the challenge of accepting all the requests of her offspring during a day. On the program, a water fight, ice cream as a meal or even an automatic car wash… with the window open! In short, a day full of twists and turns and exhausting for parents, but paradise for children.
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Of course, since this is a movie, everything is overkill (we are not sure we would accept half of what they did). But the concept is interesting. So much so that Jennifer Garner herself organizes “Yes Days” with her IRL children (understand, in real life). It must be said that as a parent, we are often described as “sucks” by our children. Notably because we impose rules at home. Sometimes the “no” even becomes systematic – at the same time, when little Timothy wants to repaint his whole room with earth, there is not much else to say – and we no longer realize that we forget all the pleasure side of parenthood.
So, if accepting everything for 24 hours seems surreal, it can above all be the right way to spend quality and complicit moments with your children. In addition, it will allow children to use their imagination and creativity to find activities to do. The “yes” will also boost them and give them confidence in themselves and in their project. On the other hand, if you are not guaranteed that you will have rested at the end of the day, you will be more relaxed. You will get out of your routine and learn to let go of the ballast.
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Place a frame
However, a “Yes Day” should not be taken lightly. A day like this is getting ready, as Elena Goutard, family and parental coach, explains. For the expert, it is not because we are going to be more flexible that we should not define a framework. She advises, for example, to set a sum of money not to be exceeded, or to define a maximum screen time – in case the child wants to spend his day on his computer. You can also tell them that you prefer outdoor activities, just to move around with your family and avoid television. The coach also recommends keeping the same times for meals, in particular so as not to confuse them too much, even if we can keep small pleasures (such as eating ice cream for breakfast).
“Yes Days can be done several times a year. Preferably, do not warn the children before, it will give them a good surprise. In any case, if you don’t do it for 24 hours, don’t hesitate to go out of the ordinary from time to time, such as eating exceptionally on the floor in front of a movie, to break the routine ”, she adds.
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Back to normal
If the “Yes Days” generally allow us to get closer to the child, we should not say to ourselves that this will settle all the conflicts. “If the relationship with the child is already good, this day will be beneficial. If the relationship is difficult, it will not solve all our problems and we will have to continue the work after the fact ”, warns Elena Goutard. Moreover, we must also provide for the “return to normal” after such a day. “The kids are going to have fun that day and, especially if they’re young, the next day when they wake up, they’re going to want to start over. It’s not a whim at all, but they want to relive that experience. On the parents’ side, we will have to hold on and manage their frustration for two or three days ”, she explains. So let them know right from the start that it is a very special day, and to keep it special, it cannot happen every day.
Now it’s up to you to decide if you want to give it a try. However, we do not recommend the automatic washing of the car with the windows open, the soap, it stings.
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Other than that, don’t hesitate to watch the movie “Yes Day” on Netflix, if you want to have a good time with your family. It’s a crazy comedy, which will appeal to young and old alike. Many parents will inevitably identify with the role of “bad cop” played by Jennifer Garner. You know, the one who always has to bitch to get everything in order, while the other parent (the nice cop, then) comes across as the coolest and gets all the kisses. In any case, we love the positivism and the fun side of the film, which is good during the anxiety-provoking period that we are living.
Elise Poiret
Journalist specializing in parenthood, Elise writes for aufeminin and Parole de mamans. She is also very involved in the fight for women’s rights. If you only have to remember …