Sex Practices That Go Wrong Mostly | Barbara.de

Fantasy vs. reality
7 sex practices that unfortunately never get as horny as you think

© red mango / Shutterstock

You are wild, you are unrestrained and full of fantasy. Good this way! We still need to briefly talk about a few things.

For you, sex is like eating – and the same dish doesn’t always taste good. That is why you are always looking for the erotic adventure and try out all possible practices. We understand and honestly: We admire you for it! But because we really love you, we have to tell you something: There are a few sex ventures that should never take the journey from your fantasy into the sometimes so harsh reality. Because how you twist and turn it (and you can take that literally here) – in the end it usually becomes disappointing. Do not you think? Okay, but don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Hot bathtub !?

Hot tub, hot body, water caresses the erogenous zones. Sounds great! In reality it is more like: small tub, large body, water sloshes on the tiled floor. Because while one tries with an acrobatic impression to fit two in the tub at all, half the bath is under water at the latest with the first rhythmic movement. Only one thing helps: a large private whirlpool!

But no cream, please!

Oh god, yes the cream number. Have you tried it before? Spraying is still fun. Maybe licking it off too. But after half an hour at the latest you smell like a rancid old piece of cream cake. So if you don’t want to take a shower straight away after sex, you’d better stop. And keep the whipped cream for a nice “hot chocolate after”.

The swimming pool scene

“Come on, we’re still young, wild and full of hormones at 40. We’re going to break into the swimming pool”. That works in the film and always ends with such a funny “What are you doing here”-Scene in which the couple in love is chased across the meadow by the security guard, but not caught. The trouble is, life writes very different scripts. And there it says: first act, swimming pool: the lovers tear their favorite jeans and their first layer of skin while climbing over the fence, then they find that the water is covered by a huge tarpaulin and in the end they slide on it Chase out on the tiles. Fun in the pool? Next time better without a swimming pool!

The thing about the Kama Sutra

Move your right leg upwards at a 90-degree angle, then bend it slightly forwards and turn your upper body 180 degrees. Many a Kamasutra position does not provide for pleasure and orgasms, but for that “you just have to pull the nipple through the tab” moment. Note: Bed sport is not an Olympic discipline! So it’s better to put your personal ambition aside and choose the simple Kamasutra positions. Then it’s fun too!

Orgasm on 4 floors?

Whether in “Fifty Shades of Gray” or in “Sex / Life” – the elevator seems to be a magical place for dirty games. The problem with the matter: Who will come within a minute, please? And where are real skyscrapers in Germany? Instead of having hot sex, you get into the embarrassing situation when the “pling” on the next floor turns the quickie into a peep show. Doesn’t have to be real!

You can leave your hat on!

Such a little striptease, you can still manage it, right? Wiggle your hips a little, one, two, three – and off with the T-shirt! And if the right song is still playing, Salma Hayek and her snake can pack up. Think! Because, believe it or not, stripping is an art that professionals train for a long time. So here it depends on your requirements: If you just want to have fun and accept bursts of laughter (which can also be great, by the way!), Then down with your clothes! Otherwise, let Salma do the hip swing …

Traffic chaos

Sentences that are often used during car sex: How did the seat go back again? We really should have bought a station wagon. Why are there crumbs all over here? Can you pull your leg in for a moment and watch out, don’t blow the horn !!! Do you need any more counter-arguments?

Is everything wrong?

What, have you already done everything and it was just breathtaking? Yes, well, as is well known, exceptions confirm the rule. And in that case we add another portion of admiration for you!

as
Barbara

source site