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A stalker made Sabrina R.* (31)’s life hell for two months. «Towards the end he made several threats of rape. Something like that scares and unsettles enormously,” says the eastern Swiss, who has lived in the Friborg region for many years.
The teacher’s nightmare begins in 2018 with a supposedly harmless Tinder date. R. spends an evening with the online acquaintance and also invites the man to her flat share. Shortly after the meeting, however, it is clear to her: “I didn’t want to see him again. I didn’t feel comfortable with him and I had a really bad gut feeling.”
Blick reporter met the perpetrators: “The stalkers blamed the victims”(01:37)
Stalker harassed Sabrina R. on all channels
The problem: the man does not want to accept R.’s rejection at all costs. First he vehemently begs for another date, then it quickly turns into wild insults. The stalker goes to great lengths and harasses his victim with four different phone numbers. He creates a fake account on Facebook and registers on the LinkedIn job portal to avoid further harassment.
“I was afraid to leave the apartment. He knew from the date where I live. And he asked me several times to come out, »says Sabrina R. She and her roommates at the time were deeply insecure at the time. Especially when they thought they spotted something suspicious outside the window.
Stalking victim Sabrina R. “Suddenly it was in real life. Then I got scared »(02:47)
In the end, she no longer slept in her own apartment
R. spends the week before going to the police in another apartment because she no longer feels safe at home. Everything changes when the criminal complaint is filed. “The police contacted him directly and asked him to leave me alone. That worked, I never heard from him again.”
Nevertheless, R. is unhappy that the Tinder acquaintance only got away with a fine for sexual harassment. There was no entry in the criminal record for the stalker. “It would have been extremely important to have him on the screen if he did something like this again in the future!”
Refusal and rejection will not be accepted
Since the turn of the millennium, stalking has increased enormously. An overview is difficult because there are no surveys at national level. But in the city of Bern alone, which has its own stalking department, the numbers increased sevenfold between 2010 (21 cases) and 2019 (147 cases). The year 2015, with 195 cases, is considered the record year for stalking in the capital.
Forensic scientist Thomas Knecht (63) also confirms the increase: “When I first used the word in a lecture in 2003, I still had to spell it. Since then, the topic has accompanied me regularly.” Stalkers often have a claim of ownership that they are willing to turn into reality at virtually any cost. In addition, the inhibition threshold has dropped significantly thanks to non-binding contact options on the Internet.
“These people often deal with wounded pride. Stalkers are very narcissistic. Most of the time, erotic fantasies or a motive for revenge are in the foreground,” explains Knecht. Stalking is particularly critical in cases where there had previously been a separation due to domestic violence. “By far the most dangerous category is that of scorned lovers,” adds the psychiatrist.
Michael N.** (28) also belongs to this category. The man from the St. Gallen Rhine Valley was recently convicted for terrorizing his ex-partner, with whom he has two children, for weeks. “It happened that he sent her about 500 messages within two hours,” says the penalty order of January 11, 2022.
Stalkers often see themselves as victims
N. writes to her along with countless insults: “I will finish you off for the rest of my life. (…) I would like to strangle you with my own hands.” The situation comes to a head when the ex-girlfriend enters into a new relationship. Michael N. is toying with the idea of running over the couple. “I’ll catch you,” he writes via email. “And then there are deaths. Then people will die!”
In fact, the stalker, who had appeared several times before at his ex’s place of residence, tried to gain violent access to her apartment shortly afterwards. The woman files a complaint, whereupon N. is convicted of multiple insults, threats, trespassing and misuse of a telecommunications system.
“My ex challenged it!”
However, he does not want to accept the probationary fine of 3,000 francs and the fine of 500 francs, as he says to Blick. “It’s cheeky that today you’re exposed as a perpetrator, while people who skilfully play the victim always get away with it!”
Jonas F.** (35) pours out similar self-pity. He was convicted of verbal abuse and coercion on January 12, 2022 for stalking his ex and stalking her in his car. He also promised her that he would make her “a sow”. “My ex challenged it. She deliberately hurt and provoked me. But of course it’s my fault,” says the man from the St. Gallen Oberland. In the meantime, however, the matter has been ticked off for him.
Andrea T. was threatened: “She reappeared after 10 years”(01:19)
Ex-girlfriend has been stalking Andrea T. for over a decade
Although 80 percent of stalkers are male, women can also become perpetrators, as Andrea T.** (27) found out. “My first relationship with a woman was absolutely toxic. There was physical and psychological abuse. For example, she threatened me with a knife and then slammed it into the wall,” says the project manager and part-time student.
It’s been around ten years since T. ended the relationship. The German-born stalker has accompanied her since then like a dark shadow. Even after the separation, she travels to the Aargau native’s workplace, which is a six-hour drive away, and gets in touch with her family. “You feel powerless. Others told me I could just block them. But that just doesn’t work,” says Andrea T.
Withdrawn from public view
No wonder: to this day, the stalker keeps tabs on T.’s private life and finds out about any new partners. The last time there was email contact was last fall. In the meantime, T. has turned her back on social media and, in agreement with her employer, has decided not to be listed on the employee page. T. practically no longer appears in public.
Psychiatrist Thomas Knecht: That’s why a person becomes a stalker(02:57)
What remains is insecurity and the feeling of not being taken seriously with one’s own fears. When someone anonymously placed valuable and personal gifts in her mailbox, Andrea T. dared to go to the police for the first time – and was turned away. “They told me there was nothing they could do. I should just be happy when someone gives me presents!”
* Name known to editors
** Name changed
Stalking laws brought no solution abroad
Stalking is increasing – but to what extent is not known in Switzerland. Statistical recording of stalking cases is practically impossible because Switzerland does not recognize the criminal offense of “stalking”. Politicians discuss such a thing from time to time, but so far have not been able to get through to a law.
The experiences in Germany and Austria are used as an explanation. Both countries have had criminal norms for stalking since 2006 and 2007 respectively. But that didn’t make them completely happy there. While supposedly harmless cases continue to go unreported to the judiciary, most offenses would probably have ended up before the judge anyway.
Switzerland has allowed shackles for stalkers since this year
Because stalking often goes hand in hand with other crimes. This includes threats that qualify as coercion, physical attacks (bodily harm) or telephone terror (misuse of a telecommunications system).
Switzerland has therefore decided on a different path. As part of better protection for victims of domestic violence, it has been possible since January 1 to monitor stalker bans and bans on stalker use of ankle bracelets.
How much this will actually bring in practice is still unclear shortly after the introduction of this regulation. But one thing is clear: It will be lengthy and complicated because the legal hurdles are high. Electronic surveillance can only take place on the basis of a legally binding order from a court and must be proportionate.
Stalking is increasing – but to what extent is not known in Switzerland. Statistical recording of stalking cases is practically impossible because Switzerland does not recognize the criminal offense of “stalking”. Politicians discuss such a thing from time to time, but so far have not been able to get through to a law.
The experiences in Germany and Austria are used as an explanation. Both countries have had criminal norms for stalking since 2006 and 2007 respectively. But that didn’t make them completely happy there. While supposedly harmless cases continue to go unreported to the judiciary, most offenses would probably have ended up before the judge anyway.
Switzerland has allowed shackles for stalkers since this year
Because stalking often goes hand in hand with other crimes. This includes threats that qualify as coercion, physical attacks (bodily harm) or telephone terror (misuse of a telecommunications system).
Switzerland has therefore decided on a different path. As part of better protection for victims of domestic violence, it has been possible since January 1 to monitor stalker bans and bans on stalker use of ankle bracelets.
How much this will actually bring in practice is still unclear shortly after the introduction of this regulation. But one thing is clear: It will be lengthy and complicated because the legal hurdles are high. Electronic surveillance can only take place on the basis of a legally binding order from a court and must be proportionate.
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