Soulmate
Signs of a soul connection
© PinkCoffee Studio / Adobe Stock
For some, soul mateship may be a spiritual gloss. For others, however, it gives life a true meaning. Whether there is a soul connection depends on the definition.
Everyone knows what it feels like to get along well with someone right away. You recognize a kindred spirit in someone and form a deep connection with them. Both people just seem to get along. It feels like you are: kindred spirit.
It all started with the ancient Greek philosopher Plato. He once suspected that man is not a figure with two arms, two legs and one face. Instead we had four arms, four legs and two heads. From joint to joint, connected to our perfect counterpart, we wandered the earth intertwined. Until the Greek god Zeus decided to divide people in half to punish them for their selfish nature. Since then, we have roamed the earth hoping to find the half of us we lost: ours soulmates. As far as that myth. But what about reality?
What is soul mateship?
Does soul mateship really exist?
Beyond Plato’s reflections, the idea of finding one forever love permeates our culture everywhere. Starting with the Disney movies, we are taught that there is a final relationship for us. One that can meet all our needs. And actually: one carried out in 2016 study with 270 young adults found that those with romantic beliefs were more likely to experience greater satisfaction and commitment in their relationships. So are soulmates real? That depends on who you ask and, above all, how you define it.
We often create our soulmates by meeting people who are willing to entangle their lives with ours without hesitation or complications. But none of us have a static identity. We are changing, our partners are also changing. If soulmates exist, then the definition of them is more likely to be: an individual for whom one is willing to compromise, for whom one is willing to be accountable, and for whom one constantly desires. The key is to keep an open mind and heart, as well as the realization that soul connections don’t have to be forever.
How do I find my soulmate?
The term soulmate usually refers to someone with whom you have intense chemistry. Although there is debate as to whether there is such a thing as a soul mate, the fact remains that everyone wants to find someone who truly understands them – whether romantically or as a friend. But how do you find these people?
- Focus on yourself. In general, people who value themselves and have confidence in themselves are able to give more of themselves to other people.
- Active social life: You won’t find your soulmate if you isolate yourself. While it’s wrong to go out just to find a lifelong partner, your chances of meeting someone special are much higher if you make an effort to leave the house.
- Search for common interests and values. Interests say a lot about someone, and different views on the meaning of life can make it difficult to feel real closeness. You don’t have to be a copy of each other, but similar morals make it easier to work together.
- Be open-minded. To find out if you have chemistry, you need to have a real conversation where you both have the opportunity to open up. Be open-minded when meeting new people. You never know who you might get along well with.
- Be realistic. No one will ever truly be a perfect match for you. So don’t be too perfectionistic when looking for your soulmate. All human relationships are inherently imperfect. When you find someone who cares about your growth and happiness, that is a huge gift.
You might also be interested in: Finding friends
How do you know that you are a soul mate?
Do you think you have met a soulmate? Then it’s time to reflect on your behavior when you spend time together.
- Are you sincere? A true soul mate only works if both parties are willing to be honest about who they are. So always stay true to yourself. If you hide a part of yourself from the other person, you’ll never really find out if you have chemistry.
- Do you communicate openly? One of the truest things about soulmates is the ability to talk to each other without fear of judgment.
- Do you feel safe? If the person you feel a soulmate with makes you feel safe and secure, that’s a very good sign.
- Do you trust each other? Even if the chemistry is right, it can take a long time to really build mutual trust. Especially if you have had negative experiences with it in the past. But if the person in question is truly your soul mate, that intimacy and trust will quickly become established.
Would you like more information? Here we go: Soulmates
What types of soul mates are there?
Most people equate the term “soulmate” with romantic love. But this is not the only type of soul connection. All here Types of soulmates at a glance:
- Platonic Soulmates: Platonic soulmates are people who share a deep, meaningful bond without having any romantic or sexual interest. In other words, your connection goes beyond a good friendship, but neither of you wants to be in a romantic relationship.
- Romantic soulmates are people who have a deep, emotional connection and romantic interest in each other. Your souls and energies are drawn to each other and you feel like you can be yourself around this person.
- Twin flames (also called dual souls) are two halves of the same soul. They are essentially one soul in separate bodies. That’s why they have a deep connection with their other half. If you feel a strong, non-judgmental connection with someone and share similar personality traits, opinions, and interests, you are probably twin flames.
- Karmic soulmates are soul connections that teach you lessons. Your karmic soulmate is believed to be a soul that you were connected to in one of your past lives. This soul is closely intertwined with yours because they carry shared karma into each new life. A karmic soulmate teaches you what love is and what it is not, and reveals important truths about yourself. A relationship with a karmic soulmate is often temporary, but challenging, intense, and turbulent. You can read more here: Karmic love.
Dangers of soulmates
Many experts agree that the idea of having found your soul mate leads to an unfavorable inner attitude. People who believe in fate – and therefore also in soulmates – tend to losing interest in the other person much more quicklywhen the relationship no longer looks rosy. Those who believe that they are meant for each other see relationship problems as proof that the other person may simply not be the “right one” after all – and certainly that there is no soul mate. Whether with or without a soul mate: It doesn’t work without work. Negatives as well as positives are part of life with a person and all relationships will sooner or later go through crises. The best indicator of whether a relationship will last or not is how you react when disagreements arise.
Sources used:
- Inbal Ravreby, Kobi Snitz, Noam Sobel: “There is chemistry in social chemistry”science.org, 2022
- Sarah A. Vannier, Lucia F. O’Sullivan: “Passion, connection, and destinay: How romantic expectations help predict satisfaction and commitment in young adult’s dating relationships”journals.sagepub.com, 2016
- Lisa Firestone: “Relationship Compatibility“, psychalive.org, last published: February 2024
- Luisa Batthyany De La Lama, Luis De La Lama, Ariana Wittgenstein: “The Soul Mates Model: A Seven-Stage Model for Couple’s Long-Term Relationship Development and Flourishing“, journals.sagepub.com, 2012