Staying positive when there are many negative influences is not always easy. Jeannette Graf has tips for more self-love in an interview.
For many people, it can be an enormous challenge to maintain a positive attitude in everyday life despite difficult life situations, crises, separations, war or stress. Jeannette Graf, presenter, lifestyle blogger and influencer, has dealt with this very problem for years. Today, the author, who recently published her motivational book “Be Happy!!!” has brought out to its readers to “stay away from energy guzzlers” and to deal with the topics of self-love and self-reflection. In an interview with the news agency spot on news, she explains: “If we want to make positive changes in our lives, self-reflection is the first step.”
How did you decide to write your own motivational book?
Jeannette Graf: I’ve been on Instagram for ten years now. In order to offer my community added value that doesn’t always revolve around product presentations or the finer things in life, which always come at a cost, I have been giving mindset tips regularly for years. The interest of my very female community (over 80 percent women) is so great. Since I was asked more and more often why I didn’t save or write down this valuable input, I decided to just do it.
How did you manage to find your own personal center?
Graf: As a young woman I started psychotherapy and that was the beginning. I always blamed my difficult childhood and was responsible for why I was a lonely, incapable of relationships and unhappy person. I didn’t know self-love, only self-pity. At some point the pressure was so great that I no longer wanted to live like that. I first heard about the power of our subconscious through my psychologist. I then dealt with this for many years, internalized it and implemented it. The power our thoughts have on our lives. I was also confronted with the topic professionally. For six years I was a coach for employee development, employee training and motivation at the largest perfumery chain in Germany. Before I was allowed to hold training courses, I had to do a few leadership and self-discovery seminars myself. There I learned a lot about self-reflection, self-realization and self-worth. Today I draw a lot of strength from Buddhism.
War, inflation, poor economic conditions, climate change – what tip do you have for staying positive in times like these?
Graf: We should stay away from energy guzzlers. For example, these are the news that we shouldn’t watch all the time. Sure, we should be informed, but constantly keeping up to date with what’s happening in Ukraine or the Gaza Strip is scary. Fear is negative and affects us a lot. These are facts that we cannot change. It doesn’t get better if we deal with it all the time, it does something to us, our mood and takes away our lightness and joy.
Another tip from me: avoid overthinking. When you overthink, you tend to ruminate about things and get lost in thought loops. These excessive, negative thoughts can lead to stress, restlessness, anxiety and even depression. Energy guzzlers are primarily people around us who drag us down with their bad mood, a negative attitude, their dissatisfaction and their gossip. It affects us subconsciously, not positively. You can learn how to distance yourself from energy guzzlers with mindfulness. An important point in my book.
How important is self-love in order to have a positive attitude towards life?
Graf: Self-love is the most important thing of all, it is a feeling of trust, confidence and pride in yourself as a person. Without self-love, you are always dependent on other people, for example our partner, who make us feel like we have nothing of ourselves.
Those who love and value themselves have a lot to give, those who do not have self-love only take and are dependent on the attention, love and recognition of other people.
How important is self-reflection?
Graf: If we want to make positive changes in our lives, self-reflection is the first step. Be honest with yourself, what is going wrong, what bothers me about myself, where am I in my life, what mistakes do I keep repeating? The easiest thing is to blame someone for our failures, the ex-partner, the economic crisis, the bad childhood, etc. Everything is easier than admitting to yourself that I’m wrong, I’m lazy, I’m jealous, I can’t begrudge etc. A change for the better can only take place if we clean up internally.
Should we all be more concerned with ourselves and less with those around us?
Graf: A happy and contented person doesn’t constantly compare themselves with others. Yes, we should care more about our mindset than constantly comparing ourselves with others. Instagram is the best example of this. If as a user I am constantly shown how luxurious and perfect the influencers’ lives are, how young and slim everyone is, then I don’t feel good in comparison. When we feel triggered by other people, by profiles on social media, distance and boundaries are important. If the “happiness” of others makes us jealous, what we would like to have ourselves is usually mirrored to us – and we are dissatisfied.
What are your five best tips for staying positive in everyday life despite crises and stress?
Count:
Time management: Prioritize the day’s tasks, plan breaks so that there is also time for me-time.
Set boundaries: Learn to say no to avoid overload.
Relaxation: Sport, yoga, meditation help a lot, in stressful situations even two minutes of breathing exercises, we breathe in deeply and breathe out for twice as long.
Press acupressure points: Acupressure comes from TCM and is particularly effective. It is best to massage the third eye with your middle finger, which is located between the eyebrows. At this point, perform gentle and light circular movements for about a minute.
Press the SOS point if you need to clear your head immediately: The emergency point is in the middle of the palm of your hand. Press firmly on this spot with your thumb for about ten seconds, then switch sides until you feel significantly more relaxed.