Most people have stress at work from time to time and often the relationship suffers as a result. Five tips on how to limit the damage.
Bad or too little feedback from the supervisor, unreliable colleagues and always too much to do anyway – when we have stress in the job, it often stresses us far beyond working hours. Stupid! Especially if our relationship suffers as well. However, it does not have to be that a professional crisis turns into a partnership. Five tips on how we can work around this.
5 tips to keep stress in the job out of the relationship
1. Talk plain text
If you are loaded and in a bad mood after your working day, just tell your sweetheart in no uncertain terms – then he knows what he is at, you do not have to pull yourself together and ideally feel a bit more liberated. Statements like "please give me a bit of space, the day has been very hard on me" are easier to put away and classify than a "boah, what are you putting me under pressure now ?!" …
2. Don't blame the innocent!
Even if it is damn hard: Don't let your partner out of your mood, after all, he can't help it. Unfortunately, most of us tend to take out the bad mood, anger, and anger of those closest to us. Whether this is because we are sure that they stand by us or we can drop our "mask" in front of them – you do not know. But one thing is clear: it is not fair and a loved one is neither a scapegoat nor a doormat.
3. Avoid wise advice
If your sweetheart tells you about his problems in the job, be careful what you advise him and how you can give advice. You only know the situation from his description and can therefore not judge it as well as he does. In this constellation, well-intentioned advice is often out of place and acts like patronizing or prudent talk. Better than advice is in-depth questions or your own experience reports if you think you can put yourself in the situation.
4. Listening is the best support
So be careful with advice, but what's left? Exactly: listen patiently, be there and show understanding. Do not put pressure on yourself to say anything clever and do not expect your partner to say something clever when you complain about your suffering. To be able to talk openly about your problems at all and to have the feeling of being understood is valuable enough. And sometimes that alone helps.
5. Establish conversation rituals
In order to be able to show lasting understanding and to stay up to date, it is important that you exchange views regularly and know what is in the other phase. The breakfast together at the weekend, a quarter of an hour chatting before bed – finds and establishes a culture of conversation in a rhythm that works for you.