Even if we wanted to, we probably couldn't help it: We generally trust the people closest to us the most. My best friend tells me, "The skirt suits you well," I believe that a hundred times better than if it comes from a saleswoman. My partner assures me there was nothing, the woman who claims that he kissed her has to provide solid evidence. No question: the closer people are, the more honest they are to each other. One should think so. But a survey commissioned by PLAYBOY magazine now suggests the opposite.
Most lies are told in private life
In a representative study carried out by the opinion research institute Norstat, PLAYBOY had more than 1,000 people in Germany questioned about honesty – and lo and behold: The respondents tell 55 percent of their lies in the private sphere, d. H. in friendships, relationships, and the family, and only 45 percent of the whimsy gets to hear strangers and work colleagues. This will certainly be connected to a degree with the fact that most people generally communicate more in the private sphere – but the simple calculation "the closer a relationship the more honest" does not work anymore. So maybe you'd rather listen to the saleswoman than to the girlfriend? Speaking of: According to this study, friendships are 40 percent of the lies on the dishonesty scale before partnerships, they "only" account for 30 percent.
Why is a lie?
So far, so disappointing? Then it is high time for good news: When asked about the most common motivation to lie, most of the respondents (63 percent) replied that they wanted to comfort or build the liar with it – phew, that sounds more like friendship! 53 percent again stated that their dishonesty was primarily intended to keep problems and stress at bay – which in certain circumstances can also be a decision for the benefit of the relationship.
But despite these honorable motives, the final question arises: Can we now trust our friends and loved ones less than we thought? Honestly: May be! But maybe with trust and honesty it is just not as straightforward as we always thought. It may be part of a close relationship that one protects one another, takes the other's feelings into consideration – and, if necessary, even lies. When in doubt, strangers or colleagues don't care how you can handle the truth, so it's easy for them to tell you. On the other hand, those who are close to you do not make decisions objectively, but compassionately and in such a way that they hurt you as little as possible. And isn't that actually a pretty good reason to trust someone?