Study: This is what is most likely to keep people from having an affair

Nobody wants to be unfaithful, but there are still many. Scientists from Munich have investigated why this is so and what could possibly prevent people from getting involved in an affair.

Infidelity – we all despise or fear it. Because we all know, or at least sense, how painful it must be to be betrayed. And because we feel that it is wrong to betray someone (whom we are close …). Nevertheless, in a representative survey by ElitePartner of just under 5,600 people in 2020, 31 percent of women and 27 percent of men admitted to having been unfaithful before. It is and remains a paradox, this infidelity: Nobody wants to be unfaithful, yet there are many.

Infidelity puzzles science

It is no wonder that scientists look at the topic again and again and look for explanations for this affair paradox. Which professional groups are most likely to cheat? Perhaps a person's tone of voice suggests their willingness to have an affair? Researchers have already found answers to all such questions. But what really motivates or prevents people from getting involved in an affair has not really been clarified so far. Now sociologists from the Ludwig Maximilians University in Munich have tried to bring a shimmer of light into the darkness. Whether or not they did it is one thing – but what they found is at least interesting.

Cheating or not: does commitment tip the scales?

For their investigation, the researchers evaluated data from the "pairfam" relationship panel (Panel Analysis of Intimate Relationships and Family Dynamics). Since 2008, nearly 14,000 people have been asked about their relationship and family life once a year for "pairfam". The majority of the participants are married and have children.

From this test group, only five percent of the respondents admitted to having been unfaithful to their current partner. Dissatisfaction with the relationship was, as expected, a driver for the affair – but another factor was decisive: Did those affected toy with the idea of ​​separating or not? If, in addition to the problems in the partnership, there was a tendency to separate, the probability of infidelity in this data analysis was about two percentage points higher than if this was not the case. On the other hand, according to this study, the only thing that stuck to the relationship was the determination to get a couple through difficult phases earlier – without either cheating.

Commitment is wrongly underestimated

If we remember Robert Sternberg's triangular theory of love, according to which a relationship can / should have the three components closeness, passion and commitment, the results of this study underline how important the element of commitment actually is or can be. Even when there is a crisis in terms of closeness and passion, mutual (!) Perceived commitment can save the relationship through a difficult phase and prevent an affair.

In this respect, it is perhaps a bit of a shame that in the past few years unconditional commitment has been replaced more and more by a "let's see how long I am happy with you" attitude – and by the feeling of only yourself and your own happiness to be obliged. But only if we continue to find infidelity problematic …

Sources used: rtl.de, ElitePartner

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