“It was in October 2020 that the diagnosis fell: at 33, I learned that I had triple negative breast cancer, a particularly aggressive form of the disease.
This news came after months of unexplained pain. In September 2019, I gave birth to my daughter and I did not breastfeed. When the milk came in, I remember it was very painful, but I was told it was normal. This pain then became diffuse and persisted over time, so much so that I didn’t even notice it.
In January 2020, during a workout, I felt a lump in my breast. That same evening, I consulted my midwife: she told me it was a muscle tear. I was relieved and my life resumed its course, although I still felt this lump.
“The pain in my breast paralyzed me completely”
During the first confinement, while I was playing with my son, he accidentally kicked me in the breast. The pain knocked me down. I saw my other midwife, who also told me about a muscle tear. She nevertheless suggested that I go see an osteopath and have a breast ultrasound if the pain persisted.
This double diagnosis reassured me, but the lump in my breast continued to grow without me really realizing it. In August, I consulted an osteopathic friend, who told me that I had a cracked rib: she put it back in place and advised me to consult if I still had pain.
The pain got stronger and stronger. I had some kind of discharge in my breast that completely paralyzed me. So I made an appointment for a breast ultrasound.
“During the diagnosis, I took a big slap”
The exam took place on October 1, 2020, in other words 10 months after the discovery of the lump in my breast. I arrived confident, but quickly realized that something was wrong when I was told about the mammogram and biopsy.
The meetings then followed one another. On October 9, everything collapsed: the diagnosis of breast cancer fell. I took a big slap. I was immediately told about chemotherapy and thought about how I was going to lose my hair. I couldn’t stop crying, I was in shock. And I obviously thought about my children: I couldn’t let them grow up without a mother, I had to fight.
That day, I was also told that there were several types of breast cancer, but I couldn’t hear what I was being told: the shock had made me deaf and I remained focused on chemotherapy. . It wasn’t until a week later, during my PET scan, that I realized it was triple negative cancer.
One of the peculiarities of this type of breast cancer is that it has no estrogen and progesterone receptors, like hormone-dependent cancers, or HER2 receptors. Hormonal treatments and targeted anti-HER2 therapies cannot therefore be used, although they are the most important apart from surgery to fight against breast cancer.
“I felt like I was sowing death around me”
It was then necessary to announce the news to my entourage. At that moment, I felt like I was sowing death around me. It was all the more difficult in this period of health crisis where we cannot always see each other. I have had a lot of relatives crying on the phone: I had not realized how shocking this news could be.
However, some clumsy reactions bothered me. I’m thinking in particular of phrases like: ‘you’re young, it’ll be fine’, ‘don’t worry, it can be healed well’, or even ‘morale is part of the healing’. We minimize the situation while facing cancer is a real obstacle course.
“When I look at myself in the mirror, I don’t recognize myself”
I quickly started the treatments, starting with neoadjuvant chemotherapy in order to reduce the tumor. But be aware that one of the peculiarities of triple negative breast cancer is that the tumor may not respond.
I did not realize what to expect: I had horrible nausea, experienced severe fatigue and lost my hair. The physical transformation is particularly difficult to experience: when I look at myself in the mirror, I do not recognize myself. I don’t feel like myself anymore.
I just finished chemotherapy but in April I will have a mastectomy, which will be followed by 30 to 35 sessions of radiation therapy. For now, I remain focused on chemotherapy but the mastectomy scares me and I know this step is going to be difficult. For me, it is a mutilation, especially since I will have to wait at least a year before the reconstruction.
“When we minimize pain, we waste time”
I keep the blog Emilie The Brunette for 14 years and I immediately wanted to tell my community about what I was going through, in order to raise awareness of the disease and encourage women to get tested. I also created the podcast Triple negative for this purpose. The message I want to get across is that you have to listen to yourself. It is often said that when it hurts, it is benign. I am the proof that this is wrong and that when you minimize the pain, you waste time.
Many women have written to me telling me that my testimony has enabled them to be diagnosed. What gives me strength on a daily basis is to help them, to tell them that it is possible to have a normal life, to continue working and to take care of your children.
My goal is also to desecrate the word cancer: we should be able to talk about it freely. There is a great lack of information on the subject and it is essential to communicate. For example, I would like self-examination to be taught from middle school, but also for everyone to know that there are four types of breast cancer, or that there are ‘breast routes’ all over France. , allowing all the examinations necessary for diagnosis to be taken in one day.
“With the #MobilisationTriplettes collective, we are raising a cry of alarm”
If I testify, it is also because the risk of recurrence of triple negative breast cancer is high and it often ends up becoming resistant to treatment.
Immunotherapy associated with chemotherapy is a hope but in France, a study questioned its effectiveness and in 2020, the High Authority of Health (HAS) has issued an unfavorable opinion for its reimbursement. As this treatment is authorized in other countries, many patients therefore launch online jackpots to be able to seek treatment abroad. I find that unacceptable.
The other major breakthrough in the treatment of triple negative breast cancer is Trodelvy. It has obtained a temporary authorization for use in France, but there are supply problems and we are still waiting. With the #MobilisationTriplettes collective of which I am a member, we are raising a cry of alarm to be able to benefit quickly “.
Read also :
⋙ Triple negative breast cancer: what are its peculiarities and how to treat it?
⋙ Breast cancer: the answers to the questions we ask ourselves
⋙ Testimonial: “I reclaimed my body after breast cancer”