- "You don't really listen to me!"
- "Then just say what you want from me!"
- "I do it all the time, but obviously you don't care!"
- "What are these allegations like now ?!"
- …
- "Forget it!"
Phew! Communication can be quite exhausting and sometimes quite frustrating. Especially when feelings or, worse, different needs are involved, it is often difficult for us to find the right words and to express ourselves in such a way that our counterpart understands us. Too bad, because communication plays a crucial role in a relationship. In order to get along with each other in the long term, have to Finding a way for people to share and understand each other – because even sex above average doesn't solve everything. But don't worry: before you sign up to study communication science or be put on a coach's waiting list to save your relationship, you can try again with a magic word that really has it all. A little tip: you already know it!
That word improves your relationship
The nice thing about this magic word is that it solves several problems or communication errors at once: talking past each other, generalizing, generalizing, slipping into the reproach mode … Our Simsalabim prevents all of this almost automatically from relationship communication. At the same time, on the other hand, it increases the chance that communicating will succeed in what communication is actually intended for: mutual understanding, agreement, insight into the perspective of the other person. Well, an idea? No matter, we resolve: We are talking about the wonderful verb, of course Feel.
- "If you look at your phone while I'm talking to you, I feel meaningless and unimportant."
- "Please don't shout at me like that! I feel threatened and pushed into the corner."
- "If you just do what I say, I feel stupid and superfluous."
By communicating your sweetheart as concretely as possible, you bring him to your side of the situation and invites him to take a look out of your eyes – and to see his own behavior including effects from your perspective. You let him participate in your perception and what it triggers in you without poisoning the conversation through reproaches or blaming. Admittedly, by showing him your vulnerable side so openly, you naturally make yourself vulnerable. But there is another good thing too: if he loves you, it will trigger the impulse to protect you and give you a better feeling, and the conversation will probably take a positive course for you. On the other hand, things escalate and he makes fun of you … well, maybe that should give you the impetus to think carefully about your relationship – or to give Coach a try! ?