France escaped re-containment, but the question is: for how long? However, between the almost generalized teleworking for some, the curfew, we have to spend a lot of time with our partner. For better and for worse.
When we spend a lot of time together, one thing is certain: it is no longer possible to avoid certain subjects, as well as the bad habits of your partner that suddenly come to light. Plus, with the stress of this particular time, naturally, we get a little upset about anything and everything!
Did you know ? According to a psychologist's study, a fifteen-minute argument can have a long-lasting impact on health. The effects can be felt up to twenty years later. All the same. So is the game worth the candle? If you are worried that this interminable pandemic will get the better of your relationship, then you are not alone. In an article published on the American HuffPost, psychologists looked at the five most frequent arguments of couples during times of confinement, and give keys to remedy them.
1 / Teleworking
With the imposition of telecommuting, many couples find themselves spending all their days together, and the once intimate office spaces are now more limited in space, if not shared. We discover that our partner speaks too loudly on the phone, keeps clicking his pen, is very messy …
In this context of teleworking, it is important to organize yourself upstream and to separate the spaces as much as possible and to respect them. Build a schedule for each week. If you don't finish or start work at the same time, organize yourself so that the other person knows when not to distract you, but without imposing your pace.
2 / Proximity (promiscuity?)
Although we love our partner, being together 24/7 is certainly not natural.
Taking care of yourself has always been an essential task. But, today more than ever, we must respect everyone's privacy. Just ten minutes of meditation in the morning or evening can help you release stress and negative emotions. Take a nice hot bath. Take some air. Taking time for yourself is essential for your mental and physical health. We cannot repeat it enough!
3 / Expenses
One is a spendthrift, the other is not. One is on short-time work, the other is not. One has no more money coming in, the other keeps the home alive. Financial difficulties due to the pandemic add further stress.
When faced with these conflicts, the most important thing is to talk to yourself. This is easier said than done, but try to discuss upcoming expenses and come to an agreement to avoid surprises, because we already have enough of them! Even if it's not easy, try to talk about the blockages, and listen to the other's!
4 / The distribution of household chores
Who's doing the cooking tonight? Who does the dishes that pile up much faster? And for some, who watches over children's screen time? An Ifop poll reveals that during the first confinement, 49% of couples quarreled more often than before over household chores. Other work has shown that it is women who always do more. The pandemic weighs on domestic chores and increases the mental burden on women. The best way out is to agree on a fair distribution.
5 / What to do in the face of risks
Ah, here is another point of conflict. Do we allow ourselves to see the family or do we not? Do we take public transport, or do we not? Do we invite friends over or not? Do we brave the curfew? Questions we must ask ourselves every day as the pandemic progresses. Complicated to agree, but priority to dialogue and the precautionary principle.
The best way to resolve these issues is to be patient and find compromises. Everyone's positions are constantly changing as the pandemic evolves, so keep an open mind! We will get out of this !
See also: which household chores create the most arguments in a couple?
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