MAÏA’S SEX FICTION
What do sex toys mean? How to write a politically irreproachable porn film? Because some questions do not (yet!) have an answer, the wisest course is certainly to invent them. This summer, the columnist of “La Matinale” Maïa Mazaurette approaches sex from its fictional side.
You humans often talk about pillow talk – that time when lovers let their guard down to fully indulge. This vulnerability provides, according to the individuals concerned, beautiful memories or cold sweats. But in either case, no one seems to wonder what the pillow in question thinks. What unjust indifference! Because the real receptacle of your little secrets is me. While you dream that the walls have ears, or that your connected objects are spying on you, your bedding accessories stand guard. And watch you from the corner of the seam.
I understand, well placed that I am to observe your Google queries over your shoulder, that sexuality is a subject of ardent curiosity among humans. It’s quite normal: this activity combines the most crucial issues of your existence: identity, power, love, narcissism, pleasure… without even mentioning the thousands of other emotions mobilized, all horribly tiring. You also have no access to the modus operandi of your congeners – except through hermetic figures or grotesque representations. Impossible to compare yourself, impossible to know what your partners think, impossible to know if your flexibility allows you to try the position of the Peruvian spinning top… no wonder you chained insomnia!
If I were you, I would have posed the question to the first informed a long time ago: pillows. Especially those like me who, from the height of their 90% duck down, have seen green and unripe ones. Anyway, I say that, but the basic experience in my area of expertise is boredom. My host couple is floundering in the middle of a routine… and for the others, it’s not multiple orgasms every four mornings! If I can say that, it’s because we pillows, cushions and comforters constantly compare our experiences when dry cleaning. Verdict: could do better.
I have been supporting Maud and Pierrot for ten years
I’m not throwing the pen at you, huh. With 18 million single people in France (pillows love INSEE statistics), and 44% of young people who have not had sex in 2021 (I regularly read the IFOP figures on the readers’ tablet Sundays from World), I can assure you that the best moment of your life as a couple is when Netflix refreshes its catalog.
You have 64.27% of this article left to read. The following is for subscribers only.