The Most Successful People Never Use These 5 Toxic Phrases, According to Psychologist

“I’m not good enough”

It’s a phrase likely to resonate in many people’s minds and can have destructive effects on self-esteem in particular, with research showing that these kinds of phrases or thoughts can lead to feelings of anxiety and anxiety. depression.

Stressing that self-compassion allows you to feel more energetic, more alive and more optimistic, psychologist Emma Seppälä suggests instead asking yourself the question “What is good for me right now?”. “You will come back stronger and in a better mood in any situation”she writes in the columns of CNBC.

“I can never get it. What’s the point ?”

In addition to being demoralizing, this type of thinking is not based on any sound scientific reasoning. The psychologist points out that the brain is malleable and can continue to change and develop until old age according to the principles of neuroplasticity. Rather than devaluing yourself, she suggests motivating yourself with phrases like “I need more practice” and to think about the regular tasks now accomplished with ease and the time it took to achieve them.

“I’m a failure”

Here is another example of a remark that is devastating to self-esteem. Recalling that failures are opportunities to progress and necessary stepping stones on the path to success, the psychologist advises not to associate the results of a momentary experience with what defines us. A sentence such as “I learned a lot” seems clearly more suited to the psychologist.

“I can’t believe I did that, I’m so stupid”

While being called an idiot by another person can seem hurtful, this type of remark is just as devastating when it comes from a personal reflection. The psychologist thus reminds us that the best learning method consists of experimenting, making mistakes and iterating.

An approach that applies as much to babies learning to walk – at the start of learning, toddlers fall on average every two steps – as to scientific geniuses tackling complex problems. Rather than being unforgiving towards yourself, she suggests remembering that “Nobody is perfect” or even that “Everybody makes mistakes”.

“I’m not as good as them”

Comparing yourself to others can easily lead to feelings of not being good enough. “The truth is that no one is good enough because everyone is different”, writes Emma Seppälä. Instead of focusing on what can be considered a fault, it is better to focus on the elements that allow you to stand out: these qualities that you do not even see and for which those around you appreciate your company.

“When I teach executives, we do an exercise called “Reflected Best Self,” where you ask your friends and colleagues what they appreciate most about you. Chances are they’ll say the same thing.”she explains.

A journalist passionate about social issues and current affairs, Hugo puts his pen at the service of information. Interested in all themes, from the impact of artificial intelligence on…