The misfortune factor number 1
THAT makes most people unhappy
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Bad again? Perhaps, like many other people, you are making a critical mistake …
Work five days a week, but only two off. Paying bills every month for things that we need for life, but which do not give us any real joy or happiness (anymore). Conflicts with the partner (s): in, bad weather, being overwhelmed and other people who are in a better figure than you, do cooler things and somehow constantly drive in the fast lane. Yes, life can seem pretty caustic and unjust. But in truth it is not. Unless we make a critical mistake …
This habit is a guarantee of dissatisfaction
For many unhappy people, the main cause of their dissatisfaction is not at all due to certain incidents that are currently spoiling their mood or to their oh-so-hard life themselves, but – sorry that we are saying this so hard now – solely due to them. More precisely, in a very specific habit that inevitably prevents them from being happy: brooding and thinking things up excessively.
Admittedly, thinking, doubting and all other mental activities have got us pretty far and are theoretically great tools with which we can cobble together a happy and fulfilled life. But if you overdo it or do it wrong, you almost always make yourself unhappy – for a simple, logical reason.
That is why brooding inevitably makes you unhappy
When we think about something, it is mostly things from the past or the future. For example: “Phew, I have so much to do next week. How am I supposed to do this?” or: “Oh man, I really shouldn’t have said that! I will certainly never hear anything about him again …” We are rarely with our thoughts in the present moment – we cannot be at all, because the now is over faster when we got it mentally. It is only when we meditate that we usually live completely in the present.
But when we think about future or past things, we are in an impotent role – because from the current situation we cannot change anything, i.e. neither improve something that appears to be a mistake in retrospect, nor a challenge that makes us afraid make, tick off. The more we think about it, the stronger our feeling of powerlessness becomes. And the less we experience or perceive what is happening around us – and which could bring us a feeling of happiness.
Using thoughts positively
Problem with the matter: We cannot (and do not want to) simply switch off our thoughts. We will always reflect on our past and mentally prepare or plan for our future, and in and of itself that is perfectly okay (and even good). But whenever we notice that we are stuck and mentally drifting completely into another time zone, we should try to bring ourselves back to the present. Tick off what we can’t change at the moment and distract ourselves with questions like: “What is important now?”, “What do I have to do next?” or “What can I do today to make the challenge that awaits me less of a burden?”
But don’t worry, that’s not all you can do to make yourself happy. We have lots of other inspirations, for example little things that make you happier in less than 10 minutes or simple everyday rules for more satisfaction. And if you have a rough idea of what is making you unhappy but don’t know how to break out, here’s how to change bad habits.
Video tip: Yoga teacher reveals: This is how you will be completely happy