these 4 common phrases that must be replaced at all costs according to neuroscientists
There are habits that die hard, especially in education. But according to a neuroscientist there are certain sentences that we tell our children that should really be replaced…
Some specialists do not hesitate to warn about dangerous practices with children. Between the activities that must be avoided, the products that can be harmful and the toxic educational methods, parents sometimes find it difficult to navigate and that is understandable. But without changing all your habits, there are small things you can change in your daily life so that children develop self-discipline. What is self-discipline?
Self-discipline is the fact of giving yourself a certain number of rules and respecting them. This promotes autonomy, independence and many specialists tend to say that self-discipline is a vector of success in life. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson are neuroscientists and authors of the book The self-driven child, they studied children for a very long time. This research has shown that some methods don’t work for building self-discipline.
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Sentences to replace according to neuroscientists
- “If you don’t work hard now, you will regret it all your life”
To be replaced for example by: “You haven’t mastered this technique yet in judo, but you can improve. Look how far you’ve already come!” Encouragement is always better than a threat, the road to learning is long but by showing your child that you believe in him, nothing can stop him.
- “It’s my duty to protect you”
To be replaced by: “I let you experiment even though I’m not comfortable with it because…” Children need to experiment and learn from their mistakes. You can prevent them but avoid preventing them from living.
- “I punish you because you have to understand that this behavior is unacceptable”
To be replaced by: “I felt pretty upset about what just happened and I imagine you did too. Can we talk later about how to get a better result if it happens again?” One should avoid threatening the child with punishment but rather treat him with respect. Giving him time to think about it and discussing it again afterwards will help him feel understood and establish a bond of trust between you.
- “You spend too much time on your phone”
To be replaced by: “I noticed you haven’t spent any time with us since you got home from school. Do you want to go to the library and pick up some new books?” We must try to give children a possible way out so that they stop being on their phones.