These 6 problematic phrases that narcissistic perverts use during an argument, according to psychologists

Getting along with someone is sometimes complicated. Some couples suffer from a lack of communication. But often unpleasant feelings such as stress, anger or sadness may appear. You may be dealing with a narcissistic personality. These individuals are manipulative and wish to control others, which makes them very frustrating disagreements and the toxic relationship. According to Manahil Riaz, a psychotherapist in Houston and owner of Riaz Counseling in Texas, some people may exhibit narcissistic traits, such as self-centeredness or lack of empathy, but may not suffer from them. of a narcissistic disorder.

For Justine Grosso, psychologist specializing in somatic trauma: “There is ‘healthy narcissism’ which is defined as ‘an integrated sense of self and healthy self-esteem, but also pathological narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder'”, she told HuffPost. Justine Grosso explained in particular: “A person presenting pathological narcissistic traits may meet some, but not all, NPD criteria. Indeed, these criteria include lack of empathy, exploitation of others, and arrogance. These character traits are difficult to live with on a daily basis, especially during conflicts. Certain sentences spoken are murderous as these psychologists, specialized in this field, explain:

1. “You’re overreacting.”

Dialogue is very complicated with this type of individual, particularly during conflict: “When you talk to a person with pathological narcissism or NPD, she may repeatedly dismiss, deflect, or invalidate your concerns or hurt feelings in order to avoid taking responsibility for their impact on you“declared Justine Grosso.

This can be translated by sentences such as “you are overreacting” Or “you are too sensitive”, which can be used to control the narrative and make you feel like you are the one who caused the probleme. “Instead of emphasizing your position, comments like this will likely make you doubt yourself and your feelings, and lead you to withdraw your complaint.”revealed the psychologist.

2. “I’m not angry, you’re the one who’s angry.”

The narcissistic pervert tends to blame you. “People with pathological narcissism (NPD) use an unconscious defense mechanism called projectionwhich allows them to deny their own emotions and believe that they belong to someone else”explained Justine Grosso.

If you are in the middle of an argument with a narcissist, you may hear them telling you that it is you who is angry when it’s him who screams, screams and says condescending things. “People with pathological narcissism or NPD deny their vulnerable feelings due to toxic shame and of a phobia of emotions”she continued.

3. “It’s always me who is accused”

This individual believes he is still a victim. “Narcissists often consider themselves like victims because of their deep sense of entitlement, fragile self-esteem and lack of empathy for others”explained psychologist Cwynar. This victim mentality leads narcissists to believe that they are “constantly harmed or mistreated by others.”

You may hear a narcissist say phrases like: “I can’t believe you’re attacking me like that. It’s always me who is accused of everythingeven when it’s not my fault” Or “Whatever I do, it’s never good enough for you. I am constantly criticized and judged unfairly”she insisted.

4. “If you loved me, you would do this”

During conflict, it is common for narcissistic people to resort to manipulation. This language aims to control the person to get what they want. “They will use strong language like…”If you love me, [tu ferais ça pour moi] … if you don’t do this, I might hurt myself …if you leave here, it’s because you never loved me”, explained the specialist.

Such statements make it difficult to stand up to the person you are arguing with, likely causing you to retreat and give him back control of the situation. You think you’re wrong and you can’t fight against this person.

5. “You should have known I was upset.”

These people believe that others should anticipate their needs: “Although many people with personality disorders and relationship trauma may think that others read their mindsthis idea is particularly common among people suffering from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)”revealed Justine Grossi.

So you may hear someone with narcissistic personality disorder say “You should have known I was angry”, expecting you to anticipate their emotions and understand what they are feeling without any form Communication. “Such a phrase can make the other person feel hypervigilant, like they are walking on eggshells,” she said.

6. Endless expressions that do not address the subject

There is a concept called “word salad”which consists of saying things that do not make sense”, revealed Manahil Riaz. And to continue: “So they can spout unrelated statements just to confuse you.”

For example, we can hear sentences like: “I do everything for this family, you stay at home, and I think about the future and what we can do better, and I try to study.”added the psychologist. “And they keep talking about it, over and over again. At the end of the day, we end up forgetting what we are fighting forbecause the conversation has moved so far away from the left”she concluded.

A graduate of CELSA, I have always been passionate about journalism since my early childhood. Originally from the South of France, I left Nice, my hometown, to come live in…